So Scott Disick wore an eye patch to the beach the other day, because that is what one does. It was monogrammed, of course. Just so you know? Always have your eye patches monogrammed. White on black, never the other way around, and never, ever in Comic Sans or Helvetica. It is the gentleman's way.
No but really, why is Scott wearing an eye patch to the beach? I know I shouldn't care. And yet I do! I'm intrigued. What is he up to? And why are the initials "LD" and not "SD"? (UPDATE: Apparently it stands for Lord Disick. SMH) I've spent a good part of my afternoon speculating on the matter (so much for productivity), and here's what I came up with: 20 reasons that may explain why Scott Disick is wearing an eye patch.
- Because Kourtney poked him in the eye with her new engagement ring.
- To distract us from what appears to be his terrible case of the crabs (this picture!).
- To block out Kourtney's terrible pants (this picture!).
- To go with his black, suede slippers.
- Because some big guy just kicked sand in his eyes. Again.
- Because he wants to be a pirate.
- Boredom, man.
- Because it ties the whole scruffy beard/tattoo/purple and turquoise zebra shorts look together so nicely.
- Something about a drinking game last night? He can't remember.
- Because Mason keeps throwing that ball in his face.
- For protection from Penelope's projectile spit-up.
- He is filled with ennui.
- He accidentally sold his eyeball instead of his soul to the devil.
- Kourtney wouldn't let him borrow a headband and this is the next best thing.
- What eye patch?
- Because that is what the people demand. Are you not entertained?!?
- He forgot his sunglasses at the hotel room.
- He forgot his left eyeball at the hotel room.
- Parce que ... pourquois pas?
- Because he's Scott Disick.
All right, Disick, you win. You got us talking! Damn you, it works every time.
Why do you think Scott is wearing an eye patch?
Image via Splash News