It's a Thanksgiving Revenge special, Charlie Brown! (And hello to those of you not watching Liz & Dick.) Tonight we enjoyed an entire flashback episode from the good old days, oh around six years ago. Before Emily returned to the Hamptons for her revengenda, before Victoria left Conrad, and apparently before Nolan went full-tilt preppie. We see a few seeds planted -- but more than anything else we see how never-ending these revenge sagas are. How they go back generations. How they move toward the future with no end in sight.
So check it out: While Emily was still training with Mr. Takeda for her big revenge mission she was was a crime-fighting ninja, kind of like one of Charlie's Angels. (Takeda's Angels?) She meets Aiden while taking down a human trafficker named Dimitri. Aiden is after the guy because he kidnapped his sister, Colleen -- and Aiden wants to know where she is. Remember from a past episode, we find out that Aiden abandons Emily for the opportunity to find his sister, a failed mission according to Takeda.
Meanwhile, we get to meet Victoria's mother for Thanksgiving! The phrase "that's where she gets it" seems woefully inadequate, but here we discover the roots of Victoria's treacherous, conniving ways. Oh, also we're introduced to mom's new boyfriend, Ben. After burying her late husband, Maxwell, Victoria's mother has found love again.
And to let us know how sick her mom truly is, we find out that she kicked Victoria out of the house when she was a teenager. But Mom justifies it by saying "but look at how well you're doing now -- I did you a favor!" Taking notes, moms? Here's how you raise a strong daughter: Let your creepy boyfriends hit on her and then kick her out of the house at 15. Everything will turn out for the bestest ever!
Back to Emily and Aiden, in some hurried dialogue we find out Colleen disappeared shortly before that flight David Clark is credited for bombing. Also, Aiden's father was a baggage handler. YES OF COURSE, why wouldn't Aiden's family be tied up in all this mess going way back?
Speaking of tied up in all this mess -- here's Nolan celebrating Nolcorp going public and dating the CFO, Marco. Oh, but Marco finds out that $500 million mysteriously disappeared recently. And when Nolan confides that it went to David Clark's daughter to make up for all she's been through and out of loyalty to David, Marco is disgusted. Nolan fires/breaks up with him. And Marco quits/breaks up with him. It's all very sad that Marco can't be more understanding. He's probably holding a grudge still...
Back to Mommy Dearest, Victoria regales the family with an old family yarn about the time her mother's lover was trying to leave her and she shot him. And made Victoria take the blame. And then kicked her out six months later when she caught her new boyfriend Maxwell sneaking into Victoria's room. Mom's current new boyfriend Ben leaves, disgusted.
The juicy mother-daughter confrontation could have been fun, but it has a weary feel to it. Victoria reminds her mother, "pity's not a quality you taught me," before kicking her out. It turns out the whole thing was a charade! New boyfriend Ben was hired by the Graysons to play the part just so Victoria could pull this come-uppance on her mother. SICK.
To her credit, Victoria doesn't even seem to enjoy it. I guess it doesn't help that Daniel has just shown his parents some poetry he wrote about his family's generational dysfunction -- something about breaking the cycle? Right. Conrad burns the poetry (because, seriously? There will be no Grayson poet, only Grayson capitalists). "Was it worth it?" Conrad asks. Victoria can't say. "Ask me in the morning." The whole Grayson Thanksgiving just gives me indigestion.
(Was it me, or did this episode have more commercials than usual? Maybe I just don't watch enough TV.)
Oh god, finally we're back in the present. Emily is in Aiden's arms in bed, giggling over how she convinced Takeda to take him on. "Better not disappear on me again," she says. What do you want to bet he does?
And what was I just saying about Marco and his grudge? Dainel calls him up about a "deal." Doesn't sound like Nolan's generosity to Emily is paying off. No good deed goes unpunished on this show.
And speaking of biting you in the ass, now the Graysons are plotting to keep Daniel from taking over the board for his own protection. "Maybe we should have let him become a poet." Ya think?
And I haven't even delved into the crazy business with the bar and Ashley's hooker past -- WTF?!? But we end tonight on a poignant note. Emily shows Aiden her infinity box and her tattoo: Revenge, "a journey with no end."
Do you think Emily or anyone on the show will ever get any satisfaction or closure?
Image via ABC