Follow The Stir

Love & Learn

‘Bachelor’ Ben Flajnik Will Skip Ex Ashley Hebert’s Wedding -- But He Shouldn’t

by Sasha Brown-Worsham on November 15, 2012 at 11:45 AM

Ben FlajnikBen Flajnik once proposed to Ashley Hebert and was dissed in a dramatic (and humiliating) manner. Now, a year and one entire Bachelor installment later, Flajnik is friends with Hebert and her ACTUAL fiance. He is such good friends with Hebert's fiance JP Rosenbaum that he was invited to their wedding next month. But he said no.

Flajnik claims he has a “work event” and that may very well be true. Of course it could also just be that he is an ex, and if there is one person who is often not wanted at weddings, it's the ex.

Personally, I think that is insane. Why shouldn't exes, especially ones who are friends, be invited?

When we break up with someone, it's not like they die. They don't float off into the sunset and pop like a big balloon. No way. They still exist.

In many cases, these were people we loved for years. We slept next to them, kissed them, and loved them. Then, for whatever reason, it didn't work out. That is not a reason to cut that person out of your life. And from the perspective of a spouse-to-be, an ex is the PERFECT person to invite to the wedding because of the "been there, done that" factor. Let's not discount that.

Personally, I would rather my fiance have someone he HAS slept with (and dumped) than someone he wants to and will flirt with. But that's just me.

I had a friend whose spouse-to-be forbade her from inviting her college boyfriend who was a very close friend of hers. I know that caused a lot of hurt feelings and sadness for both of them. The fact is, if you can't trust your spouse-to-be, then why are you marrying them?

People break up for many reasons, but if they want an ex at the wedding, it should be assumed that it's for a good reason. To forbid that just seems silly.

Did you have exes at your wedding?


Image via ABC

Filed Under: the bachelor, the bachelorette, weddings, marriage


  • xiolxuo


    November 15, 2012 at 1:14 PM
    I disagree. Unless you have children with an ex, there is no reason why you should still be in contact with one.
  • Laini...
    -- Facebook comment from

    Lainie Gutterman

    November 15, 2012 at 6:35 PM

     I applaud him for not attending.  Absolutely no reason to be there except for publicity.  & he's single now so why would he want to go see the bride marry another man?

  • Charl...
    -- Facebook comment from

    Charlessa Coats Springberg

    November 16, 2012 at 8:32 AM

    Iam in contact with several of my ex's and we are still good friends. I agree an ex is an ex for a reason i have no reason to think they would all the sudden become the love of my life. My husband is also in contact with some of his. He choose me not them and i dont even worry about it. 


  • Roxie
    -- Nonmember comment from


    November 18, 2012 at 2:15 PM
    Sorry, but reality is he is probably busy and feels its better to respect the groom. Seriously, what groom would want his new wife's ex- boyfriend/ make-out, sleep- over buddy at wedding! Seriously what's wrong with you people! You all ACT like it's the right thing to do. It's not! Good for Ben ( although I never liked him for her ) he understands. This is THEIR special day, not his. And she was being nice inviting him and I am sure she probably figured or hoped he would decline.
1-4 of 4 comments

To leave a comment, log in as a CafeMom member:

Log In

OR, use our non-member comment form: