Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not after you, Lindsay Lohan. To be perfectly honest, sweetie, they probably are after you. And by "they" I mean the police, yes. See, rumor has it LiLo is telling anybody who'll listen pals that the cops are "out to get her." Not just because it's their job, mind you, but because they have a "vendetta" and are determined to "bring her down."
Now, you might be tempted to dismiss these claims as just the latest panicked ramblings of a deluded, possibly emotionally unstable starlet. Which would be understandable -- after all, Lohan is approximately one parking ticket away from the slammer at this point, and she's reportedly "terrified" of being locked up again. But let us consider, for a moment, the possibility that Lilo really IS the target of a vast law enforcement conspiracy.
I mean, what IF? What if we went all the way back to when Lilo's troubles began, arguably with the very first stolen necklace, and found that every crime and misdemeanor was staged? Like those montage/flashback things they always have at the end of suspense thrillers where the protaganist remembers key scenes from the perspective of a different camera and realizes, My god, I've been framed!
Just imagine, in slow-mo black-and-white: A gloved hand dropping a necklace into Lilo's bag as she leaves the jewelry store. A man in a ski mask jumping into the driver's seat of Lohan's Porsche and steering the car into a tractor trailer. Another gloved hand stuffing thousands of dollars in jewelry into Lilo's bag at a house party. Yet another gloved hand typing offensive tweets about Hurricane Sandy from @lindsaylohan.
Yeah, no. Girlfriend is totally losing her sh*t.
Do you think Lindsay Lohan is starting to seriously lose it?
Image via Kata Rina/Flickr