There are, what, approximately eleventy gazillion habillion fans who think Robert Pattinson -- and to a lesser extent, Bella and Edward -- are the hottest things that have ever existed, fictionally or otherwise, since the beginning of time, right? I mean, I've seen some of the trailer reaction YouTube videos, I don't think I'm exaggerating here.
So you'd think the Breaking Dawn 2 promotional tour would be all about building up the sexy, smoldering, tingly feelings that are intended make the most dedicated viewers feel a little funny in their pants, like they're climbing the rope in gym class. Instead, I swear Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are on a mission to kill every Twilight-themed boner in America. We started out with Pattinson saying that the big upcoming sex scene is "pretty ridiculous. (…) You literally try and give a face of ecstasy... The cameraman was laughing as well" -- and they haven't stopped dampening our spirits (and not in a good way) since.
Kristen Stewart has complained that while the actors were raring to get it on, the director totally cockblocked them:
(Director) Bill (Condon) kept saying that he wanted to make this one feel like you're very much inside of the experience. Like you're there, you're sort of a part of it, which is odd. But to do that we had to look directly into the camera instead of at each other. It was awful! I was like, 'Bill, you're depriving me of this experience. We've been waiting for vampire sex! What are you doing?!
Robert Pattinson says the crowds of cast and crew made things a little … um, limp:
Vampire sex is supposed to be the greatest sex in the world, and then everyone turns up on set and they're like, 'OK, well, uh, what's your thing?' It's, like, completely crazy!
This week, Pattinson told Jimmy Kimmel that he feels self-conscious about his kissing scenes in the movie:
I have such, like, extraordinarily loud little pecks. It sounds like I’m walking around in wellies. (…) I don’t understand, like, literally my lip is like a vacuum.
Yep. Watch this clip and try to unhear that SMOOCH! at the end.
Speaking of kissing, way back in 2008 Pattinson said he had at least one similarity with his fanged alter-ego:
I always get carried away when I’m kissing people. I just go nuts.
Okay, I think you can take that two ways. Either he's the hottest kisser in the world because he gets super into it and pushes you against a wall and does that thing where a guy entwines his fingers in the back of your hair, mmmmm -- OR, he's like an 8-year-old with a melting ice cream cone, and when you're done, your entire face is covered in saliva.
Finally, Pattinson says the upcoming Breaking Dawn 2 sex scene might have a little Swayze vibe to it:
I haven't seen it yet, so I don't know, but I imagine it's quite like the scene where they're doing pottery in Ghost.
Hmmm. So replace Demi and Patrick with Bella and Edward, and replace that growing pillar of clay with …?
Oh my. All right, FINE, that one might be kind of hot.
What's your call on the Big Upcoming Sex Scene in Breaking Dawn 2? HOT OR NOT?
Images via Tonya Wise/London Ent/Splash News, YouTube