Since Snooki was too pregnant to do it this time, it was up to her fellow meatball, Deena Cortese, to get arrested on this season of Jersey Shore. And get arrested she did right there on the streets of Seaside as we saw in tonight's episode.
After a drunken night on the town, she barely paused before heading out again the next morning. Still seemingly riding the buzz from the night before, she couldn't even be bothered to brush her hair. It was Mission Meatball Day, and it was sad. Not just because she'd lost her poor meatball, but because it was such a pathetically scripted day that just made her look ridiculous as she fell all over herself and no one wanted to be her meatball.
Then she got really wild and went outside.
As the random guy named Steve from the t-shirt shop tried to get her on the sidewalk, she kept insisting on dancing in the street right there in broad daylight. Why? Who the hell knows, but there she was waving her hands about as cars honked and drove by. Then the cops rushed in.
As they placed her under arrest, she seemed completely surprised that she was doing anything wrong.
"Why am I in trouble? No, I don’t want to be in trouble," she blubbered.
"Because you’re dancing in the streets," the officer told her. Which would have been a great time for them to cue up the Bowie/Jagger version of the song by the same name, but they didn't. Instead, it was just Deena's sobs we heard as she was put into the squad car and taken away.
So will Deena spend time in the slammer? No, though that would make for some good TV. Instead, according to Wetpaint, she narrowly avoided getting jail time. In the end she had to pay a fine of $106 and apologize to the Seaside Heights Police Department and judge for “causing trouble.” Not such a high price to pay for some ratings, now is it?
Most pathetic quote of the night came from Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino: "I’m an extremely aggressive dude that is ripped up like Rambo and can jump and kick like Van Damme. It’s not a good idea to mess with his ass."
How many more episodes until we're done?
Would you want to be Deena's meatball?
Image via YouTube