'Bachelorette' Emily Maynard & Jef Holm breakup I feel bad for Jef Holm. Really bad. His Bachelorette ex-fiance Emily Maynard may or may not have cheated on him. He also supposedly went through watching a woman he "loved" sext with some other guy. OH and -- she (or was it ABC?) may have paid him to stick around and ride out the media frenzy.

Naturally, now that the duo have officially split, the guy has gotta get his mind off of all of these shenanigans. What's an overwhelmed Jef Holm to do? Go golfing. Except as a reality "star," there's no way he could handle this drama by himself. Nope, he asked a buddy to come along to hit a few balls. His chosen buddy? Arie Luyendyk Jr., the runner-up from his season.

Let's contemplate for a moment. Normal: Going golfing to try to take your mind off of the horrible possibly suicidal thoughts that are going through your mind. Not normal: Going golfing with a guy your ex-fiance used to date and most likely slept with in a room titled the "Fantasy Suite."

About that.

OK, the guy's hurting. He wanted to find a way to poke back at Em and, well, this is definitely it. I guess at least he has the right attitude about all this breakup stuff -- get up, get out, and definitely DON'T sit around moping at home.

Naturally as a lady who recently went through a breakup of her own and loves sticking my nose in other people's business, I have a few suggestions of things that worked for me post-split:

Pick up a new hobby: Ever thought about getting into knitting or kayaking? Post-breakup is the PERFECT time to dive into a hobby you've always wanted to give a solid shot. Whatever you do, stick with it. Sure, you may only do it for a few weeks -- but then you can look back at this time period as "the time I tried hot yoga and hated it" instead of "the time I laid in my bed for three weeks straight."

Explore: For me, it was making a list of a few dozen places around New York City I wanted to get to and heading to one every time I found myself with extra time. Even if you don't live in a big city -- write down some places in your local area you wanna get to, and actually GET to them. You'll be surprised at all you can accomplish.

Exercise: Take out your frustrations on a treadmill or a hiking trail instead of inside the wallows of a pint of Ben & Jerry's. Trust me, it's much more of a stress reliever, and if you shape up, you have my permission to flaunt your toned assetts to your ex.

Spend time with family: It's unfortunate that often, bad things have to happen in order for us to realize that we need to reconnect with our roots. I know it's not always fun to talk to Mom, Dad, your siblings, or cousins about your personal life, and heck, now doesn't have to be the time you start. Instead just DO things with them. Go to the movies, take a pottery class, spend time reconnecting with the people you spent LESS time with when you were joined at the hip with your lover. Trust me, it'll feel great.

What are some ways you get over a hard breakup?

 

Image via ABC