How depressing exciting! If there's any truth to the latest rumors, Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel's wedding will happen THIS weekend ... in Italy! A "small, rural" part of Italy, to be exact. What an absolutely perfect place to marry Justin Timberlake. I'm so happy happy happy for Jessica Biel! Really. Happy.
No, I totally mean it. They make a great couple, and their wedding (did I mention it's gonna be a three-day affair?) is bound to be basically the most entertaining wedding in the history of weddings. How do I know? Well, first of all, Justin Timberlake is involved. Plus, guests have already started arriving ... and Andy Samberg is one of them.
Justin Timberlake + Andy Samberg = The Lonely Island. And you know what that means, right?
Timberlake and Biel's wedding song could be basically the best wedding song in the history of weddings. You get where I'm heading with this?
Think gold chains. Synchronized dance moves. Shoulder pads. And a song that goes a little something like this:
Girl you know we've been together such a long long time (such a long time)
And now I'm ready to lay it on the line
Wow, you know it's our wedding and my heart is open wide (open wide)
Gonna give you something so you know what's on my mind (what's on my mind)
A gift real special, so take off the top
Take a look inside ... it's my d*ck in a box
It's in a box, girl
Ha! Oh, come on. Am I really the only one who thinks that would be hilarious?! Hey, it's not like I brought up Timberlake and Samberg's mom-lovin' song or that three-way video they did with Lady Gaga. Obviously those would be inappropriate musical choices for a wedding. But "D*ck in a Box" is a timeless ode to true love!
What would be your pick for Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel's wedding song?
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