Have you heard the shockingly awesome lyrical stylings of the hottest hip hop duo to tear up the Tracy Anderson Method studio? I'm talking about MC Gwyneth Paltrow and DJ Jazzy Cameron Diaz, of course, whose just-released gangsta rap showcases some surprisingly deep skills on the A-listers' part. Talent, charisma, wordplay, raw emotion, rapid-fire delivery ... my god, these ladies are just absolutely amazing!
Amazingly horrendous, that is. I mean, I assume that's sort of the point of this video, but even giving them props for not taking themselves seriously doesn't improve the cringing blonde Hollywood atrocity that is Gwyneth Paltrow and Cameron Diaz rapping about Chelsea Handler.
Check it out, if you dare:
Apparently Paltrow and Diaz created this yeesh-worthy hip-hop routine as a tribute to to their buddy Chelsea Handler, in honor of the incredibly momentous occasion of her show Chelsea Lately moving to a new set at Universal Studios. You know, just in case the rap itself isn't lame enough for you, I thought it would be useful to include the backstory.
Yeah. That was ... wow, I don't think I even have the words. I'm not sure what's worse, Diaz's beatboxing, Gwyneth channeling Kathie Lee Gifford's Crazy Face (complete with White Girl Overbite), or Diaz's pelvic thrusts at the end.
I did sort of appreciate the lyrics, I guess, although my ears are still bleeding from the bizarrely-accented delivery:
You like black guys, white guys, whoever's around. Your bedroom looks like it's a lost and found. We kinda like you because you're blond like us, but we can't hang wit' you in public 'cause you drink too much!
You know what's REALLY nuts? This isn't even the first time Gwyneth has rapped in public. Last year, she performed a verse of NWA's "Gangsta Gangsta" on BBC's The Graham Norton Show (the magic starts at 0:55):
Gah. I suddenly have a craving for lemon flavored flax oil.
What do you think of Gwyneth Paltrow and Cameron Diaz's mad rap skills?
Image via YouTube