After three action-packed hours, The Real Housewives of New Jersey reunion finally came to an end tonight. Andy Cohen was left partially deaf and covered in Teresa Giudice's body glitter, but the bloodshed was pretty minimal. In fact, it ended on a strangely optimistic if not delusional note as Caroline Manzo proclaimed that there "can't be this much pain without love" and predicted they'd all be reminiscing about this one day.
I'm not so sure about that, but we'll see.
The biggest shocker of the night was the big bomb dropped in the whole Strippergate scandal. After both Melissa Gorga and Jacqueline Laurita were accused of being strippers by the Giudices, the real stripper stepped forward to reveal herself himself.
When asked about his affinity for showing off his junk, Joe Gorga admitted that he worked as a Chippendales dancer during college, and he was proud of it and the elephant sock he wore while raking in thousands of dollars. It's not surprising that he was a stripper as the dude loves to be naked, but it is pretty amazing that tonight was the first time anyone had heard about it. Of course, Teresa knew he did it (she found his g-string), which just makes her accusations about Melissa being a stripper all the more ridiculous and hypocritical to boot. It's okay for her brother but not his wife? And as Chris Laurita pointed out, it's not like strippers are serial killers anyway so why does she care so much even if she was one?
Kim D. came out and pretty much took the heat for setting up Melissa at the Posche fashion show. She said she was miffed with Melissa because she'd endorsed another business with the same name as hers. "I wouldn't call it a setup, I'd say it was convenient. Unfortunately for people, things fall in my lap," she said.
She said Teresa knew that something was going to go down that night and that it would involve Melissa, but she didn't know what it would be. That seems like a technicality and almost just as bad. It also doesn't mean Teresa didn't go around telling everyone and their brother that Melissa used to strip. Her own father even said she did, and she busted herself when she said to Melissa, accusing her of being "contrived": "Damn, you learned a lot in that strip club." She's definitely been throwing that around for awhile.
Joe Giudice contributed almost nothing except a series of incoherent mumblings and a refrain of "who cares?" and "go scratch". When Joe Gorga said he laughs at him every day, I don't blame him. The guy is a total clown, and it's got to pain Joe Gorga that his sister is stuck with him. While Melissa is done with Teresa, and told her she'd never look at her again, Joe seems like he'd embrace his sister in an instant if she showed any true remorse. I don't see that happening any time soon, however.
Chris Laurita really put everything into perspective though when he referred to his son's recent diagnosis with autism. "What’s happened to us with our son makes us realize what’s important. This shit is not important." It so is not.
Most bizarre line of the night came from none other than Juicy Joe: "You know that old saying, 'you could indict a ham sandwich'?" Um, no. No we don't.
Were you shocked that Joe Gorga revealed his stripper past? Do you think the Gorgas and the Giudices will ever mend their relationship?
Image via Bravo