I can't belieb it, but Justin Bieber and Ryan Gosling are cousins. I don't know why they decided to keep that a secret from us, but now, thanks to Ancestory.com, the cat's out of the bag. Gosling and Bieber probably spend Christmases together and see each other at graduations and wear the same T-shirts during family reunions. They're most likely best buddies and enjoy such pastimes as playing the drums, talking about how hot their Latin ladies are, and making fun of their hilarious old granny.
Awesome, right? Then, when I tell you that Celine Dion and Avril Lavigne are also related to Bieber, will your head explode?
Because they are. Yup! They're all cousins. Kinda.
Justin and Ryan are 11th cousins once removed; Justin and Celine are 10th cousins three times removed; and Justin and Avril Lavigne are 12th cousins.
So, yeah, it's not like they'll be tossing the Frisbee around at family reunions any time soon, but it was fun there for a second, imagining the Biebs and the RyGos just kickin' it in their PJs, opening presents under the tree together, maybe getting in a tickle fight or two with the younger cousins, then getting shitcanned after Christmas supper and playing with all the remote control toys the younger generations got from Santa.
Alas, our dreams of a Bieber/Gosling familial bromance have been dashed by this pesky thing called genealogy. But hey, 11th cousins once removed, that's not so bad. At least it's something.
But the takeaway here, folks, is that everyone from Canada is related. Just a cold, hard fact right there. So congrats, you Canucks -- you're alllllllllll cousins with Bieber and Gosling! Guess that means you can't marry them. Oh well, more for me.