Oh my, I have so many thoughts about this Hulk Hogan sex tape. Thoughts such as "don't want" and "no thank you" and "who the hell is Heather Clem, anyway?" Heather Clem, the lucky lady featured in the video, is the former wife of Hogan's best friend, Bubba the Love Sponge (yup, that's his legal name, though he was born Todd Alen Clem, so don't blame his parents). Hogan confirms he "banged" his friend's wife with his blessing, because Hogan was so miserable with Linda. And the rest is leaked sex video history.
So ... who has sex with an aging reality TV star and former WWF wrestler, anyway?
Heather Clem was born Heather Cole and is 38 years old.
Heather is Bubba's second wife. It appears they were not actually married at the time of the sex tape (2006), just seeing each other. Heather and Bubba married in 2008 and Bubba filed for divorce in 2011. Hulk Hogan was the best man at their wedding.
Heather has a daughter from a previous marriage.
Heather is reportedly "completely devastated" by the video leak. She's embarrassed partly because she considers Hulk "cheesy," though on the tape she refers to him as a "hot commodity." Does that make Hulk nacho cheese?
She's also reportedly embarrassed by all of Hulk's interruptions, what with stopping her in the middle of a sex act to check his cellphone ("Let me see if that's Nick. Hold on.") and later going on about how he feels like a pig because he ate too much earlier. She's worried that the video "makes her look like a piece of meat."
Perhaps you would like to get a better sense of what Heather Clem looks like? Well you're in luck -- Examiner has compiled a slideshow for you.
Apparently Heather likes dogs. (See link to photos.)
And there you go! You now know way more about Heather Clem than you even knew you wanted to know.
How would you feel right now if you were Heather Clem?
Image via Ethan Miller/Getty