Poor Kanye West. The rapper claims the leaked sex tape featuring a Kim Kardashian look-alike (um, whatever) was stolen from his computer. Can Kanye save face with his girlfriend and her family? What about the public? What about Kim's divorce with Kris Humphries? What if it turns out Kim cheated on him with Kanye? What if, what if, what if ...
Relax! It's all going to be just fine. According to a source close to the family, the Kardashians aren't a bit worried about this tape. "All of the Kardashians love Kanye and they have told him they don't care that the report about his sex tape came out." Remember, we're dealing with professionals. The Kardashian family practically invented the leaked sex tape spin.
Momager Kris Jenner's got it all under control, I'm sure! Can't you just see how this would go down in the Kardashian family? There they all are, sitting down for their weekly showbiz family conference. Kanye reluctantly brings up the video. "I'm so sorry, I'm so embarrassed!"
I can just see Kris throwing her hands up and laughing. "Oh Kanye, this is great news! Your first sex tape, I'm so excited for you. Congratulations!"
"But Momager, I mean Kris, what about Kim's divorce? Won't this look bad?"
All the Kardashians look at each other and laugh. "Kanye, you're so sweet and naive!" Kim says. "It's already taken care of."
"What do you mean?!?"
(Kris again.) "Kanye, this is what I do. Trust me. I'm handling the distribution and marketing already. This is so fun! Now we just need you to keep acting embarrassed. That's perfect."
"I AM embarrassed!"
"Of course you are, honey."
"And just so you know, in the video? That's really--"
"I don't need to know that! No one needs that information! We don't want to know. Shh, baby, shhhhh." (Kris places a manicured finger over Kanye's lips.) "Now, here's what we're doing next ..."
Do you think the Kardashians are secretly happy about Kanye West's leaked sex tape?
Image via jurvetson/Flickr