Gosh, there have been so many Robert Pattinson heartbreak rumors swirling around since Kristen Stewart's cheating story broke. Who knows how our favorite heartbroken vampire babe is holding up. Wouldn't you just love to go right to the source and find out what's really going on in that messy-haired head of Rob's? Yeah, WE TOTALLY WISH.

Well, good news! In what might be a close second to getting up close and personal with Mr. Rob Pattinson himself, we found out exactly what Rob (or possibly the Rob doll who's for sale on eBay) is thinking. YES, WE ARE SERIOUS. He's glittery and no nonsense and often brazenly deboxed. In other words, he has no problem sharing the secrets behind those sexy, vacant, bedroom eyes.

Has Rob really forgiven Kristen and are they shacking up again so soon? Has he really gotten over the heartbreak already? What's really going on?!! HINT: Rob's bitter as all hell. Just ask the doll.