Forget Oprah and Dr. Phil. You want to know the secret to a better life, tune in to Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. Yes folks, you better "Redneckognize!" Pint-size pageant queen Alana, her momma June, and sisters Chickadee, Pumpkin, and Chubbs have all the answers you've been searching for. I kid you not.

You've let yourself go? Just follow Momma's mantra: "I ain't the most beautimos out the box, but a little paint on this barn, shine it back to its original condition. Cause it shines up like it's brand new."

The state of the economy? "A dollar make me holla," sings Alana. All 99-Percenters would certainly agree! And who can deny the superiority of the Redneck Games? "It's all about Southern pride, similar to the Olympics, but with a lot of missing teeth and a lot of butt crack showing," informs June. No need to worry about wardrobe malfunctions there!

This family kicks some serious knowledge. Check out Honey Boo Boo's guide to life: 

Image via TLC