You guys, I'm really worried about Jenelle Evans! Did you see that tweet she sent out? "God, I'm dying slowly..." Do you think it might be a cry for help? Totally biting my nails over this! What awful turmoil must have Jenelle in its merciless grasp. Is it a brain tumor? Early onset of Alzheimer's? Leprosy? A flesh-eating bacteria? A really, really slow-eating shark? What if ... what if ...
What if this is just Jenelle being a drama queen as usual? She's no more in peril than she usually is. Call off the emergency response team. Go back to your knitting or your Internet porn or both, as the case may be. It's true that Jenelle is dying slowly, but it's not exactly a crisis.
I guess this was just over having an ovarian cyst removed. Newsflash! It hurts. We feel for her, we really do. That must just suck. I hope I never have to have an ovarian cyst removed. Since recovering from that near-death ordeal she's driven to Carolina, gotten some highlights, and had her nails done, so apparently she's fine now, thanks for caring. But you know what I think this is really about? This is Jenelle coming to terms with the same thing we all must face: We are ALL dying slowly.
More from The Stir: 'Teen Mom' Jenelle Evans' Craziest Headlines (So Far)
Yes, what we have witnessed here with this profound tweet is a young woman's confrontation with mortality. It could have something to do with having an off week with Keiffer, or with her sister's announcement that she's bound to OD on drugs any day now. But Jenelle is not about to bid farewell to this mortal coil, not while she's still commanding some of that Teen Mom spotlight.
This is just Jenelle realizing that she might die ... you know, someday. And before THAT happens, looooong before that happens, people are going to grow bored with her and move on to other hapless teen moms. (Oh you have, already?) She's going to fade into obscurity probably before her 25th birthday. And then what? What will she do when people stop responding her Twitter cries for help? Probably follow in Octomom's footsteps is my guess.
Is Jenelle really in trouble or just stirring up drama as usual?
Image via MTV
This Hot Dad Wants to Do Your Ironing
This Hot Dad Wants to Cook You Dinner
This Hot Dad Cooks AND Does the Dishes
Kanye West is Gay?! 
Comments 12
Got news for you - we're ALL dying slowly - or slowly dying - depending on how you look at it.
who cares.
I have a question...I heard Jennelle is pregnant again...Is this true or just another gossip?
@supermommy0787 its just another rumor!
ugh seriously is this what happens to all those journalism majors that just cant quite reach their lifelong goal of working for a reliable paper or magazine? resorting to bashing innocent people over their tweets? Its really sad that life has dealt some people such a terrible blow like having to resort to online tabloid reports but to show such misery in the position that you have to take your bitterness out on all those who seem to be able to bounce back from disappointment. is it redemption to quote Shakespeare along the way? Personally i think not, weather you can recite all of hamlet, romeo and juliet and midsummer nights dream or not the cruel truth is your life sucks, your job is lackluster and showing resentment and bitterness in your articles is tasteless... and no amount of Shakespeare can help you with that.
i like jenelle but this is DRAMA!! GET REAL
i like jenelle but this is DRAMA!! GET REAL
ALWAYS drama with this chick , hmmm , i think sick people do not drive to Carolina , get their hair and nails done , plus she looks totally on something , this is just another ploy for attention , i so do not feel sorry for this little girl , yes i said little girl , she is not a women , not even close , as women , when we have children we give up our rights to go out and party , it is time she grew up and learn how to become the mom her son needs , i read on another site that she is going to a painting party on Halloween , i thought you were supposed to take your kid/kids trick or treating , nope not her , partying is way more important to her , why is it that almost all those ten moms except her had their kids and knew what they had to do , ok so Amber has had some problems , but clearly this party mom is NO better at least Amber realized she had a problem and is dealing with it , this girl on the other hand i think is a lost cause , she needs to be put away to protect herself from herself , she is a twit that needs to leave the loosers alone , get her life straight if that is even possible and spend some time with her son !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!