In the most hilarious publicity stunt ever, Goodyear has come forward to offer both Lindsay Lohan and Amanda Bynes driving lessons. Not just at some crappy driving school though, oh hell no. They're offering up private one-on-one lessons, no paparazzi allowed, with their professional drivers who can "show [them] all the dos and don'ts of driving safety." Wait, but half the fun of this would be them going together. Brawling out their Twitter beef behind the wheel. Goshdarnit. That's no fun.
Is this offer serious? Well technically yes. We all know, though, that there's no way in hell either trainwreck is going to opt in. Besides, I can think of 5 things both of these women need more than a few extra laps around a parking lot with Goodyear signage everywhere.
1. A hug: Is there anyone who is showing these two women affection right now? Last time I checked, Lindsay's mom Dina Lohan was too busy with Dr. Phil and Bynes hadn't spoken with her parents in months.
2. A personal breathalyzer: Sure, they may be too drunk to remember to use it. But heck, at least having the DIY breathalyzer can help them decide whether or not to get behind the wheel after a night of drinking. I'm thinking considering their recent history, the answer should ALWAYS be no.
3. Child star therapy for life: Disney and Nickelodeon are pretty big companies who made a decent chunk of cash off of LiLo and Bynes' "talents," if you will. I think the least they can do is offer them a little therapeutic guidance, preferably in front of cameras, and make a special out of it.
4. A chauffeur: Wait, someone tell me why they don't have a personal driver already? Wouldn't you think their agents, publicists, WHOEVER would have set that up by now to avoid all of this nonsense? Oh, that's right. Bynes was dropped by her agent this week. Womp womp.
5. A grip: You would think one DUI or hit and run incident would be enough of a reality check for ANYONE, despite celeb status. Nope, not for these two lovelies. It's time to get a reality check, ladies. Getting behind the wheel after drinking (or smoking -- I'm lookin' at you Bynes) is NEVER a good idea.
Do you think the two stars should take Goodyear up on their offer?