Hey! How's that college education and that sense of morality you have treating you? You doing OK? Putting a little money away every year, are ya, hoping to retire before your 85th birthday? News flash! We've been doing it all wrong. Eff edumacation and knowing right from wrong, if you want to live the high life, you're going to have to throw out your ideas of 401(K)s and your camera shyness. It's time to get real. As in, Real Housewife real.
Turns out the easiest and fastest way to make a ridiculous amount of money is to sell your soul to Bravo. The Real Housewives are some of the highest paid reality stars out there, and you won't believe what some of them pull in per season.
Radar Online reports that RHOC stalwart Vicki Gunvalson gets $450,000 a season, while newbie Heather Dubrow only got $30,000 last season. Not that she needs the money, but still. Gretchen Rossi earned about $300,000 for her role as neither a house nor a wife, Tamra got $350,000, and Alexis Bellino got $200,000.
An hour or so north in Beverly Hills, the paydays for the Housewives are just as impressive. Lisa Vanderpump brings in the most at $250,000 a season, while Kim Richards gets the least at $100,000.
The highest paid Housewife isn't on the left coast, though. NeNe Leakes from Atlanta earns the most of any housewife and rakes in a whopping $750,000 a season.
It's a sliding scale of crazy. The more insane you are, the more you're paid. But not sad-crazy, like relatively low-paid Kim Richards. You have to be funny-ha-ha-cray-cray like NeNe to command the largest paychecks.
And no one is probably more aware of this crazy-to-payday ratio than the Housewives themselves. If they wanna earn some serious cash, they better become unglued and threaten to pull someone's wig off.
Which is why, I think, Aviva Drescher of RHONY went to St. Bart's guns a blazin'. She realized that the novelty of her missing-leg story had worn off and she knew that she had to create some god damn controversy if she a) wanted to be invited back next season, and b) wanted a salary bump. So in she ran to the house, demanding a banner, calling people white trash, and bragging about her alleged law school education.
By now Aviva's probably learned that a J.D. is nothing to be proud of ... but that "I expected a party" comment? Now that'll earn you the big bucks.
What do you think of the Housewives' salary?
Photo via Bravotv.com