Although she's often ripped for being single herself, Millionaire Matchmaker Patti Stanger does give some solid relationship advice to clients. Like the time she told one woman her "laundry list" of must-haves for a man was a joke? Yep, right on. The other time she told a guy that toting his "sexretary"-like assistant around with him on dates wasn't exactly going to help him find a life partner? Duh. But unfortunately, Stanger also seems to have a habit of undermining her smartest advice by occasionally going to extremes ... The most recent example: Her commentary on funny couple Amy Poehler and Will Arnett's sad split.
In her new column for People, Stanger asserts the marriage likely failed, because Poehler was the primary breadwinner and more successful than her husband, which "goes against nature." Oh. Dear.
She then goes onto explain how a woman's success basically chips away at her man's self-esteem ("There will undeniably be comments and questions about your relationship dynamic.") and any time you have to devote to him ("You're probably on your email a lot, taking phone calls and going on regular business trips that don't involve your man."), sooo all that's left in the end is you, your shelf full of Emmys, and divorce papers. Wah wah.
I almost want to STRANGLE Stanger for this. Because the fact is -- there is merit to what some might call "antiquated" gender roles. When Stanger advises her female clients to get more comfortable with letting the man hold the door for them or pay for dinner on a first date or be the first to initiate sex, etc., I am totally with her. Whether it would make Gloria Steinem smile or not, sometimes we really do have to take the more passive role if we want our guys to feel like The Man. (Little do they know, we're still in control ... We're just letting them think they are!)
BUT to whittle what may have happened between two very successful adults and say it's ALL Amy Poehler's fault her marriage fell apart because she's slightly better known and probably the breadwinner is so ridiculous.
I'm truly bummed that she couldn't have written something along the lines of ... As important as it can be to assume your "traditional" gender role at times while dating and even while married, it's equally important for men to get used to the fact that women ARE breadwinners these days. We're making as much as our partners or more sometimes, and if they're so damn insecure about it, that's their problem -- not ours. If there's any truth to Stanger's assumption, and Will Arnett legitimately fell out of love with his wife because he couldn't handle her success, then Poehler's better off finding someone who is man enough that he can.
How do you feel about Patti Stanger's interpretation of what went down between Amy and Will? Do you think being the woman being the breadwinner is a relationship killer?
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