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I shouldn't be surprised by Chris Brown's actions, nor should I give a damn what unattractive smeary-ass thing he decides to ink on his body -- but I can't lie, my jaw hit the floor when I saw the photos of his new neck tattoo. I mean, it looks for all the world like he decided to make Rihanna's battered face a permanent part of his skin, does it not?

Now that I've seen a more detailed photo of the tattoo in its early stages, his explanation that it's a Day of the Dead sugar skull image makes a little more sense. Sooooooort of. I think his tattoo artist was drunk and maybe also vision-impaired, but whatever. Sure. Sugar skull.

The tattoo is so incredibly bizarre, I can't help wondering what he was thinking. Is it really just a random Día de los Muertos image? Or is there something more to the design? Let's delve deep into Chris Brown's murky psyche to figure out this mystery wrapped in a riddle inside an enigma.

It's a Day of the Dead image, but horribly executed. According to Brown's rep, "His tattoo is a sugar skull (associated with the Mexican celebration of The Day Of The Dead). It is not Rihanna or an abused woman as erroneously reported." Brown himself took to Twitter to post the following:

I'm an artist and this is art. Dia de los Muertos.

Okay, but you know who else was an artist creating art? The lady who borked the Spanish fresco:

Just saying, dude, it sort of looks like you got your tattoo in prison by a guy wielding a rusty nail and a broken Bic pen. For future reference, here's what a Day of the Dead ink design is supposed to look like:

His tattoo artist had a secret vendetta against him. "Oh, you want a woman's face that's half normal, half sugar skull? No problem, Breezy." *whistles casually as she tattoos a design that looks exactly like a battered, bruised face with a black eye and stitches*

It's Rihanna. I'm no psychiatrist, but I can't help wondering if Chris Brown deliberately chose this image to evoke Rihanna's busted-up face from 2009. Whether out of penance or some sort of jeering pride, who can say, but all I know is that this image makes me dislike him even more than I already did. Even if the resemblance was completely accidental, he couldn't have possibly come up with a better way to constantly remind everyone around him of the violence he's capable of.

Besides. It's a hideous tattoo and it's on his NECK. He could have put a peace sign or frolicking baby otter on there and he'd still look like Captain Douchebag of the S.S. Bad News.

What's your reaction to Chris Brown's new tattoo?

Images via Splash News, CBS, _april/Flickr