chris brownSay you're a popular recording artist who's also famous for beating the living shit out of your girlfriend just before a major awards show. What kind of tattoo would you get?

Think about it. You could get any image at all. Any image. An anchor, Mom in a heart, Cookie Monster, your last Grammy statue, anything. What do you pick?

Well, if you're Chris Brown, you get a portrait of a woman who looks like her boyfriend just beat the shit out of her -- and who also, incidentally, bears a striking resemblance to Brown's ex-girlfriend Rihanna. Obviously! Also: WHAT THE HELL IS HE THINKING?

Did he really just do that -- tattoo an image of Rihanna's beaten-up face on his neck? Why no, says Chris Brown. It's not a portrait of Rihanna, exactly, per se. It's just, you know, a random woman.

You can see a close-up of Chris Brown's tattoo here.

OH! I feel so much better about all this, then. Haha, phew. It's not Rihanna, it's just a random battered woman on your neck. For no reason! Just because it looks so cool, what with the swollen eye and all.

You know what? That's still totally fucked up. First of all, it is SO Rihanna. Please. Secondly, even if it wasn't, it's still creepy for anyone to tattoo an image of a battered woman anywhere on their body -- but especially for someone famous for beating up a woman to do that.

We're all wondering why he would do such a thing. Is this Chris' way of saying, "Poor me, I made this one little bitty mistake and now you guys won't let me ever, ever forget!" Because if that's his reason, please move aside while I throw up. I may never stop. Seriously, there is just not enough disgust in the world for perpetrators who try to play the victim.

And if it's his way of bearing the full responsibility for what he did, I can think of a million better ways to do that -- and they could all go to the nearest battered women's shelter. But this tattoo business is just plain batshit.

What do you think of Chris Brown's tattoo?

 

Image via Splash News