Grace Jones-called-and-wants-her-hairdo-back say whaaat?! Miley Cyrus is allegedly under investigation for criminal battery?! Seriously, y'all, this ain't even got nothin' to do with that scissors dude who was trespassing against her. Or stealing Pink's mohawk! Here's what (allegedly) happened: Cyrus was with fiance Liam Hemsworth at a hot Hollywood club when somebody had the nerve -- the nerve!! -- to bump into his chair. Naturally (?!) a scuffle ensued, and Miley, being a scrappy Southern gal, well, she ... freaked out.
And you remember what happened the last time she freaked out? She just kept looking down.
She st-st-st-stuttered when you asked her what she was thinking about. Felt like she couldn't breathe ... you asked what's wrong with her? Her best friend Leslie said "Oh, she's just bein' Miley."
And then Miley allegedly smacked somebody in the face.
Yes, rumor has it Miley tried to break up the brawl between her man and the nefarious chair-bumper, and in the process got right in the chair-bumper's face and gave him a fistful of southern hospitality. And they was all a-hootin' and a-hollering, too! Just imagine if Billy Ray were there! He woulda been all, Make that yahoo an achy, breakey mess, Miles!
Except Miley's rep says this story is completely and totally bogus. And probably it is, right?
Except let's just imagine, for a moment, that it's not bogus. Not so very hard to imagine at all, is it? Especially considering that aforementioned guy with scissors lurking about on her property. Girlfriend must be all on high alert, y'know? Dukes up, and whatnot.
Whatever. Either way, I hardly see Miley headed down the path of Lindsay Lohan and/or Amanda Bynes. Although if they did join forces to form some sort of lawbreaking Josie & the Pussycats-type group, you know who'd be in charge of that cartoon crime ring, dontcha?
Do you think Miley Cyrus would totally be the boss of Lindsay Lohan and Amanda Bynes?
Image via Splash