Let me tell you something right now: it takes a very, very special reason for me to write about Fifty Shades of Grey these days. I mean, I'd say we crossed the Fifty Shades of Over-Saturation point at least two months ago, and the endless casting speculation is even worse than American Idol's judge rumormongering. ("Did you hear Randy Jackson is being replaced by the Whiskers family from Meerkat Manor? It's TRUE!")
That said, what I'm about to share with you is very special indeed. You've heard Fifty Shades read by Ellen DeGeneres, Kristen Stewart, and even Gilbert Gottfried ... but I promise you, Morgan Freeman blows ALL all of these celebrity narrators out of the water.
Even if, technically, it isn't really Morgan Freeman.
Have you heard of Josh Robert Thompson? He's a actor/comedian known for his hilariously accurate portrayals of Robert De Niro, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Willie Nelson, Sylvester Stallone, and Matthew McConaughey ... but his Morgan Freeman is downright eerie.
Thompson has Morgan's rich, melodic tones nailed to the point where I would never in a thousand years have realized this video didn't feature the REAL Morgan Freeman (who is not dead, by the way).
Behold the (NSFW!) magic:
I'm sorry I may have ruined it for you by telling you up front it was an impressionist, but lying about it wouldn't have been fair, right? Plus, the part where he says, "You better back that thing up, Miss Daisy. Mmm. I'mma smack that ass" probably would've tipped you off.
If you're having a hard time believing that voice is coming from a 37-year-old white dude from Cleveland, here's another clip:
Bravo, Josh Robert Thompson. Thanks for elevating our lowbrow smut habit to civilized literature, courtesy of Morgan Freeman's smooth, comforting voice.
What do you think of 'Morgan Freeman' reading Fifty Shades of Grey? Would you buy that audiobook?
Image via YouTube