That Kris Humphries is one hell of a classy dude, isn't he? A real "gentleman." The kind of guy who gives a girl something super special to remember him by, an everlasting token of his affection ... like herpes. Yes, according to a lawsuit filed by a woman named Kayla Goldberg, Humphries infected her with the virus when the couple had a one-night stand back in 2010. Like I said, CLASSY. (And just wait until you hear the details! I'll save those for after the jump, though, just in case some of you would rather avoid the consequent recurring nightmares.)
Now, I have no idea if this lawsuit is legit or not. Maybe this Kayla Goldberg woman never even met Kris. Maybe she's just out for "unspecified damages." Maybe she did hook up with Kris, contracting all manner of cooties. Who knows? I don't even want to know, to tell you the truth. But there is one thing I'm curious about ...
Whatever Kayla Goldberg thinks she's going to get from Kris Humphries, will it make up for the public humiliation of telling the world about those worrisome symptoms she developed one week after having (all sorts of) sex with Humphries in a hotel room? Those symptoms, by the way, included "a sore throat, fever, body aches and immobilizing pain, as well as extreme vaginal irritation and painful lesions on her genitalia." Oh. Oh, dear.
Humiliating enough to admit having sex with Humphries in the first place, but ... come on. Painful lesions = TMI. Even if Goldberg wins this lawsuit, she loses.
Still, I guess this is what Humphries gets for talking smack about Kim Kardashian to anyone who'll listen. And speaking of Ms. Kardashian, I wonder how Kim and Kanye reacted to this news? Maybe Kris should send Kim a greeting card: Dear Ex-Wife, Our marriage didn't last forever, but guess what will? Those painful lesions. You're welcome. Love, Kris.
Do you think Kris Humphries really did give Kayla Goldberg the gift that keeps on giving?
Image via Keith Allison/Flickr