Entertainment

Ryan Lochte has been painting the town red pink this weekend in Las Vegas. He's there to celebrate his 28th birthday, and from donning a hot pink Speedo to posing in some more tasteful patriotic board shorts, he's had the ladies swooning in a frenzy of lust even the hideous swimsuit could quell.

To say he's the most eligible bachelor in the country right now wouldn't be a stretch, which is good because a lot of people are saying it. And to just add to his charm and credentials, he says he's not a player.

Rather, he told People, he's looking for the "perfect girl." "Now that I'm older, I'm looking to settle down a bit," he said.

And just what makes a girl "perfect" in his opinion?

Anyone that can make me smile and make me laugh. That's the key to my heart.

Gag! Sorry, that's just a little too sickeningly sweet and well-rehearsed for my taste. Not that I expect him to admit that he wants someone with big boobs and a tight ass (or whatever he's into), but he could have come up with something a little more interesting than the most-overused answer in the world.

Seems like he's been rehearsing lines for more than just his cameo role on 90210. When asked about his acting ambitions, he gave an equally canned response.

My first thing is definitely swimming. I'm an athlete, but if I get the opportunity and people come to me about acting or anything, I'll be more than happy to do it as long as it doesn't interfere with my swimming.

So diplomatic. Maybe he should consider politics too? Not that his well-rehearsed responses are going to dim his desirability in the eyes of the women of the world. In fact, I'm sure it will just make them love him more, so more power to him. Jeah.

So ladies, there you have it. That's all you need to know to snag this hottie -- find a few good jokes and don't interfere with his swimming. Sounds like a snap.

Would you want to date Ryan Lochte?

Image via Splash