Ryan Lochte Reveals the Key to His Heart & It's Not Pretty

16

Ryan LochteRyan Lochte has been painting the town red pink this weekend in Las Vegas. He's there to celebrate his 28th birthday, and from donning a hot pink Speedo to posing in some more tasteful patriotic board shorts, he's had the ladies swooning in a frenzy of lust even the hideous swimsuit could quell.

To say he's the most eligible bachelor in the country right now wouldn't be a stretch, which is good because a lot of people are saying it. And to just add to his charm and credentials, he says he's not a player.

Rather, he told People, he's looking for the "perfect girl." "Now that I'm older, I'm looking to settle down a bit," he said.

And just what makes a girl "perfect" in his opinion?

Anyone that can make me smile and make me laugh. That's the key to my heart.

Gag! Sorry, that's just a little too sickeningly sweet and well-rehearsed for my taste. Not that I expect him to admit that he wants someone with big boobs and a tight ass (or whatever he's into), but he could have come up with something a little more interesting than the most-overused answer in the world.

Seems like he's been rehearsing lines for more than just his cameo role on 90210. When asked about his acting ambitions, he gave an equally canned response.

My first thing is definitely swimming. I'm an athlete, but if I get the opportunity and people come to me about acting or anything, I'll be more than happy to do it as long as it doesn't interfere with my swimming.

So diplomatic. Maybe he should consider politics too? Not that his well-rehearsed responses are going to dim his desirability in the eyes of the women of the world. In fact, I'm sure it will just make them love him more, so more power to him. Jeah.

So ladies, there you have it. That's all you need to know to snag this hottie -- find a few good jokes and don't interfere with his swimming. Sounds like a snap.

Would you want to date Ryan Lochte?

 

Image via Splash

 

celebrity, celebs, olympics

16 Comments

To add a comment, please log in with

Use Your CafeMom Profile

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Join CafeMom or Log in to your CafeMom account. CafeMom members can keep track of their comments.

Comment As a Guest

Guest comments are moderated and will not appear immediately.

jalaz77 jalaz77

No don't see the hot factor in him, at all. Oh he has a gold medal...still no.

jhslove jhslove

Ugh, no. He seems really arrogant and really, REALLY unintelligent.

Miche... Michelephant

This guy can't win. He's an ass if he starts listing off superficial qualities he'd like in a woman and he's rehearsed if he mentions a personality trait her likea

nonmember avatar Heather

For real? Wearing the American flag over your dingle and poop-maker is more tasteful than the same style of suit he competitively swims in?

Sherzine M

I'm sorry but all I could focus on from the article was how utterly abnormal his torso (stomach area) looks....swimmers have the strangest bodies.

Miche... Michelephant

@heather. The author was saying that the flag board shorts are more tasteful than a hot pink speedo, not his competition suit

sweet... sweetyepye

Why is it anyone's business who he wants to date? He has a God given right to date any type of person he chooses to. I'm sure everyone who commented including the writer of this article date the type of person they chose to!  shrugging

mquac... mquackenbush

Hot, but not too bright. :(

alisa... alisabethjaimes

He's kind of moronic. Just look at his tweets, or check out ryanlochtetweets.tumblr.com. They're hilarious, half of them make no sense.

RobJar RobJar

Seems like this guy can't win with you. Maybe, you just don't like him. I've gotta say, at least he's not smoking it up like the other one did last time.

1-10 of 16 comments 12 Last
F