Kris Humphries Serves Kanye West Subpoena in a Nordstrom Box

kanye westDon't open the box, Kanye!I was pretty over the Kim Kardashian/Kris Humphries divorce stuff, but now that I hear that Kris' lawyers sent to Kim's house a subpoena hidden in a Nordstrom box meant for Kanye West, I'm all ears. You had me at Nordstrom box, really. TMZ reports that Kris' attorneys have summoned not only Kanye and Kris Jenner, but NBC Universal and the production company behind the Kardashian reality shows, Bunim/Murray, all in an effort to prove that Kris and Kim's wedding was fabricated for reality TV, so that Kris could be granted the annulment he desires.

Is it just me, or is this way more interesting than anything that's ever been on any of those K-clan reality shows?

The divorce is getting juicy. I mean, as soon as you manipulate Kanye into thinking his new silk bathrobe has arrived, when really it's a court summons, you cross the super fun barrier between boring legal case to oh my god, shit's going down mode.


Kim's lawyer lamented to the judge that she doesn't know what Kris' deal is with all these subpoenas, that he has no real goal other than to "bring down reality TV," but honestly, and I'm sure it's OK to speak for Mr. Humphries here when I say, we could wait forever. We got nowhere to be! Let's subpoena the hell out of the Kardashian family and its producers just to see where this takes us.

There's no doubt in my mind that the wedding and the marriage were rigged for the amusement of the viewers at home and the resultant pay day, and I can't wait for transcripts to come out proving there was an internal casting call for Kim's husband, that there was malignant editing to make Kris seem unsympathetic, and that Ryan Seacrest handed Kris an engagement ring, patted him on the ass, tried to go in for a mouth kiss, then told him what he needed to do.

Here's a hint to Kris' lawyers: if they need auxiliary evidence that the show is fake, they should use the audio of producers telling Kourtney what to say, and the photo of Kim and Momager Kris leaving a sound stage wearing the same clothes they supposedly wore in Dubai.

Let the divorce games begin!

Does the Nordstrom box subpoena pique your interest?


Photo via Splash News

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