Grasp your bosoms, ladies: There's a leaked trailer for Downton Abbey's third season running amok in the Internets. GASP! Clutching of pearls, smelling of salts, swooning, ringing of servants' bells! The new series airs in England in September, but being the cultural inferiors that we are, Americans must wait until January for our turn. (Except you middle-class strivers who find pirated versions -- please show me how you do that?)
Through my careful examination of this trailer, I have gleaned five key spoilers to sustain us through the long, dreary months before DA3 lands on our shores. Watch the trailer if you can bear it. Oh why is January so far away?
- Dame Maggie Smith is back as the Dowager Countess despite rumors that she'd walk away! Really, that's all we need to know. I could end the post right there with that news alone. But I shall carry on for it is my duty.
- The Dowager Countess has a new nemesis: Cora's mother the Martha Levinson, played by Shirley MacLaine. Smith and MacLaine, the hottest duo since Robert Plant and Jimmy Page! Cannotwait.
- Oh god, the tragically tragical couple Bates and Anna seem as hopelessly fucked as ever. He's in prison but SHE WILL NOT GIVE UP ON HIM! Man, if he ever gets out, you know these two will bore of each other within 10 minutes. Hope the case drags on for the entire season.
- Miserable couple number two, Mary and Matthew, are on the brink of something simply tear-jerking, I just know it! Who knows what "it" is, but Matthew is definitely not on "our" side. I don't understand any of this. Where is the Crawley-Grantham weddingstraganza I was promised?
- All the money is gone. Where did it go, Robert, WHERE DID IT GO?!?
How excited are you about the return of Downton Abbey?
Image via ITV