LOL
Rob Pattinson's Drunk Dials to Kristen Stewart: A Sneak Peek
Details continue to emerge regarding this year's Watergate, AKA the Robert Pattinson/Kristen Stewart/Rupert Sanders cheating scandal, and each day, it seems they get more elaborate and more personal. So elaborate and so personal, in fact, that I'm starting to wonder if all of this nonsense is really real, or if it's just a cruel joke Hollywood's decided to play on us. That said, here's today's Robsten gossip: Robert Pattinson is now drunk dialing Kristen Stewart. And we have a transcript of what he's saying ...
Did I say "we have a transcript"? I meant we're imagining a transcript. Same diff. Anyway, here's what Rob is (probably not) saying to Kristen when he dials under the influence.
Voicemail 1: (Long pause, lots of fumbling, then) F**k you. (Hangs up)
Voicemail 2: (Slurring) I didn't mean that ... You just-- (Cuts out)
Voicemail 3: Sorry, my phone is dying. I'm calling from Reese's land line right now. I don't even know where I am ... I think it's a study or something? (Pause, takes a swig of something) See an old picture of Ryan Phillippe. (Pause, heavy breathing) You really messed things up ... You lied to-- how did all these Skittles get in my pocket? (Hangs up)
Voicemail 4: Hey, do you know how to get rid of the hiccups? (Hiccup)
Voicemail 5: Where are you?! You're the one who cheated on me! You're supposed to answer! (Loud crash) I gotta go.
Voicemail 6: That was a knight. Like a guy in a suit of armor ... A statue, though. There wasn't anyone in there. I love you. (Hangs up)
Voicemail 7: I hate you.
Voicemail 8: Did you just call me?
Voicemail 9: (Sound of a bunch of numbers being pushed; pause) Hello?
Voicemail 10: (Chewing, then) Have you ever gotten mole sauce with a burrito at Baja Fresh?
Voicemail 11: This might sound like a weird question, but do you know how to get blood out of carpet? Like, a lot of blood?
Voicemail 12: I'm just calling to let you know we're done. So don't even try to contact me. You blew it. Your loss.
Voicemail 13 is met with: I'm sorry, the mailbox of the person you are trying to call is full.
What do you think of Rob drunk dialing Kristen?
Image via Pacific Coast News
Piping Hot Posts
- 1
- 2
- 3
- 4
- 5
- 6
- 7
- 8
- 9
- 10
natalia1220
I think this is so not true
noneya79
um, considering you made this all up, I don't know what Rob would say to Kristen if he was calling her and leaving drunken voicemails...
Lulu425
As much as I hate this whole cheating nonsense, I cracked up at the "Skittles" comment.
musicluvr
LOL!!! I'm a huge fan of both Rob and Kristen's and this whole scandal has made me very sad. That said, this was freakin' hilarious! What's funniest, perhaps, is that I can totally see him saying/doing these things. I've read, seen, listened, etc. to enough of his interviews to know that you the most random, silly and funny things come out of his mouth. And the Skittles thing...LMAO!!!
MomLily67
hahaha!!! who knows? maybe this is what he sounds like, young people inlove, going thru hard time,,, I feel for them I do. hehehe
jessicasmom1
it is hard to break up like this . then if he turned to drinking oh my...
serenity58
bad enough to be bombarded by this couples image everywhere you go,and
listen to every stupid detail of their relationship.YOU have to have an "imaginary "conversation take place.
SAD SAD SAD
flowerfunleah
Lmao that was frickin' hilarious, I can totally see that happening. Thanks for the laugh and keep 'em coming!
inlovewithcraig
making up shit just for an article?? patheticccc
DiANAiVELiSSE
i agree with "inlovewithcraig" post above -- making up shit !