So Biebs is getting me all hot and bothered because he's talking about going on stage naked. Yes, I'm serious. I mostly feel awkward even talking about this subject considering the fact that Justin Bieber is like ... 4 years old. But apparently Bieber told a BBC Radio DJ that he'd strip down in front of a crowd, for a crazy ridiculous price that is.
Ready for it? A whopping $25 billion. Mhm. Billion. As in, the price bracket above millions, ya dig?
... You know what's, like, uber scary about this? The fact that now that Bieber's named his price, someone could actually attempt to cough up that cash and get him live in the buff. Maybe, just maybe, all of the millions of Beliebers will band together for a cause like this.
... And now I'm a legitimate creep for thinking of that idea. Awesome.
The Biebs has 26,019,167 followers on Twitter. So let's do a little math. They need $25 billion to see the goods. So divide that by the millions of followers he has, and that's roughly $960 per person. Small price to pay for a sneak peek at "Jerry." (FYI: That's the public nickname for Bieber's junk. I'm serious.) Less than $1,000 each, people! Holy bargain.
... I'm totally kidding, I hope you all understand that. Really though, I can't even blame Bieber for naming a price. Think about it: $25 billion is a LOT of freakin' money. You could buy Kim Kardashian's old engagement ring, like, 25 times over. I think going all Adam & Eve status on stage may ruin his image a bit, though. Despite the fact that I'm sure he'd incorporate some crazy cool pyrotechnics and dance moves for the big reveal.
I need to go shower now.
Would you donate $960 to see Justin Bieber naked on stage?
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