Entertainment

Well The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills were frantically fanning themselves at the news that Brandi Glanville supposedly made whoopie in the powder room with some man she'd just met during Kyle Richard's White Party. Oh my, sex in the bathroom during a party, I do declare! Somebody hand me my smelling salts.

Brandi denies that she would do such a thing -- who do you think she is? I! Did not! Have! Sexual relations! In that bathroom! Third door on the right! Oh sure, all the elements were there: Handsome stranger, bathroom, passionate kissing. But strictly speaking he did not pass her the salami, okay?

Oh Brandi, I'm so disappointed. You're going about this all wrong.

Brandi's version of what happened goes something like this: "There was a kiss, for sure, but there was no S-E-X. Sadly, I mean, hopefully, at some point, but that night, no. It was really over-exaggerated, and people made a big deal out of it and I was like, no." Also, for the record, she and the cute man are dating now, okay? She doesn't just screw kiss some man next to a toilet and then move on like nothing happened. (How do you over-exaggerate something, by the way?)

But why deny? Even if it was just a kiss, Brandi has a certain reputation to protect. Besides, doesn't she know -- admitting guilt is all the rage now. Thanks to Kristen Stewart's infamous apology, denying wrongdoing is suddenly so, so yesterday. Anyone can hire a publicist to deny. But to accept guilt and drag a story on? That savvy!

Brandi should have said, "YES, I rode that man's wild horse, and then I used your bidet which you thoughtfully installed just for occasions like this one. Thank you, kind host." And then! She goes on a publicity tour about how awesome party bathroom sex is (it's not, but just pretend it is) and how you can enhance the experience by handcuffing your lover to the shower curtain rod and maybe what this is really about is a sex addiction which will get her a guest appearance on Dr. Oz AND win her sympathy. You see how this works?

Sigh. When will these ladies learn to listen to me?

Have you ever had sex in the bathroom -- or elsewhere -- during a party?

Image via Bravo