Kristen Stewart's 'Pregnancy Nightmare' Sounds Like a Really Bad Dream

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No matter what you think of Robsten Cheatgate -- whether it's the worst thing anyone has ever done, or it's merely a silly celebrity thing that has nothing to do with any of us -- one thing is certain. The Kristen Stewart le scandale has been a goldmine. For the tabloids!! Imagine being a tabloid. That whole Katie Holmes-Tom Cruise divorce was like manna from heaven. For about two weeks. But now Kristen Stewart is cheating on Rob Pattinson with her married 41-year-old Snow White director?! Ca-ching!

But even this story will have a shelf life. So it must be kept going with ever more fantastical -- even opposing -- theories. Rob is devastated! No, Rob is thankful! Kristen and her director only kissed! No, they've been having an affair for months! And now we've reached the capper. The absolute highest gossip pinnacle. That is ... KStew's "pregnancy nightmare"! And, uh, who's the daddy? Da-dun-duuuuun!!! (Picture KStew's frozen soap opera face here.)

Yes, folks, Star magazine is reporting on its August 13 cover that Kristen Stewart has a "pregnancy nightmare" and it asks the burning question, "Who'll be the father?" Indeed, who, who? John Edwards? No, silly, presumably the question means either Robert Pattinson or Rupert Sanders. The headline begs some other  questions, such as:

- If Rupert is the daddy, did KStew conceive in her car under the Hollywood sign?

- Was she wearing RPattz's hat during conception?

- NOW who gets the dog? Will the baby and the dog get along? 

- Does her "pregnancy nightmare" even refer to her own pregnancy -- or maybe that of her dog's?

If any of this is true, and presuming the relationship between Kristen and Rob isn't a showmance, then I don't mean to make light of this situation. Because somewhere, behind all of the lurid stories, there are two actual people, perhaps four, going through a lot of emotional turmoil. It's just hard to know what's real and what's fiction. Such is the life of a celebrity.

Do you think KStew's "pregnancy nightmare" is real or are the tabs just dreaming?


Image via Star Magazine

celeb couples, celebrity gossip, kristen stewart, robert pattinson, twilight

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dirti... dirtiekittie

...about as real as Batboy and the Loch Ness Monster.


seriously, according to the tabloids, Jessica Simpson should have had like 4 kids by now, Kanye would have dumped Kim (who would also have like 3 or 4 of her own kids too) and Elvis really does still live in the backwoods of Tennessee somewhere. i don't trust everything i read, not even on the internet. ;)

acrog... acrogodess

Jacob is the father!

cmjaz cmjaz

The Star should be sued. This is ridiculous

Rae.302 Rae.302

@dirtiekittie- haha! According to tabloids, Jennifer Aniston should have, what, about 17 children by now? LoL.

Taisie Taisie

But it might explain why she was spotted suddenly sporting some boobs a couple of weeks ago! Lol, sorry, couldn't resist!

aReal... aRealteenMother

It's The Star.. So.. You know, lol. Everyone is pregnant in the tabloids.


BUT if it IS true and assuming she DIDN'T have sex with Rupert, what the hell do they do now?

jmama... jmama0307

Umm I find this really stupid. A pregnancy dream doesn't have to be that she's pregnant. I think everyone takes it over board. If ssupposely she only had a made out session with the director how did she became pregnant. Honestly I don't even consider an affair a made out session. Affair is when you cheat for a long period of months. That is just called either cheating or a fling.

Snow Dust

very fun and very fake how many times befire she was pregnent by now she and rob should have at least 3/4 kids.stop all this shit media.all these fake pictures and apology and statement we all know its all fake we all know how you are

Victoria Corliss

who gives a rats butt!? I mean really? People cheat every day, just because she's a celeb doesn't mean that she's any different from anyone else.

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