No matter what you think of Robsten Cheatgate -- whether it's the worst thing anyone has ever done, or it's merely a silly celebrity thing that has nothing to do with any of us -- one thing is certain. The Kristen Stewart le scandale has been a goldmine. For the tabloids!! Imagine being a tabloid. That whole Katie Holmes-Tom Cruise divorce was like manna from heaven. For about two weeks. But now Kristen Stewart is cheating on Rob Pattinson with her married 41-year-old Snow White director?! Ca-ching!
But even this story will have a shelf life. So it must be kept going with ever more fantastical -- even opposing -- theories. Rob is devastated! No, Rob is thankful! Kristen and her director only kissed! No, they've been having an affair for months! And now we've reached the capper. The absolute highest gossip pinnacle. That is ... KStew's "pregnancy nightmare"! And, uh, who's the daddy? Da-dun-duuuuun!!! (Picture KStew's frozen soap opera face here.)
Yes, folks, Star magazine is reporting on its August 13 cover that Kristen Stewart has a "pregnancy nightmare" and it asks the burning question, "Who'll be the father?" Indeed, who, who? John Edwards? No, silly, presumably the question means either Robert Pattinson or Rupert Sanders. The headline begs some other questions, such as:
- If Rupert is the daddy, did KStew conceive in her car under the Hollywood sign?
- Was she wearing RPattz's hat during conception?
- NOW who gets the dog? Will the baby and the dog get along?
- Does her "pregnancy nightmare" even refer to her own pregnancy -- or maybe that of her dog's?
If any of this is true, and presuming the relationship between Kristen and Rob isn't a showmance, then I don't mean to make light of this situation. Because somewhere, behind all of the lurid stories, there are two actual people, perhaps four, going through a lot of emotional turmoil. It's just hard to know what's real and what's fiction. Such is the life of a celebrity.
Do you think KStew's "pregnancy nightmare" is real or are the tabs just dreaming?
Image via Star Magazine