Anyone who made it through even one episode of the first season of The Real Housewives of Miami awake knows it was painful. For all of the promise of the spicy cast in the crazy city of Miami, it was a big boring letdown -- easily the worst season of Real Housewives EVER. So the fact that they even renewed it was surprising. More shocking, however: Season two actually looks good. Really good, so get your mojitos ready.
A new trailer for the upcoming season, said to be planned to air in September, has been released, and it's muy caliente. There's hot new blood, punches thrown, and most importantly -- Elsa Patton, the often tipsy witch and only saving grace of season one, is coming back, and seems to have a starring role.
Check out what's in store, after the jump.
The three minutes in that clip alone were more entertaining than the entire last season of RHOM. We can only hope it lives up to the hype.
So who are these ladies in the fray? The season two cast is made of a few veterans and a few newbies. Here's the lineup, starting with those who are coming back.
Lea Black: The tough-talking Texan likes to collect people, throw parties, and raise money for charity. Previews show she may have upped her fashion game a bit -- thank goodness there were no mom jeans in sight.
Marysol Patton: She herself is pretty boring, especially now that her secret Aspen wedding to her young French boyfriend is said and done. But since without her there would be no Elsa, I'm okay with her staying.
Adriana De Moura: She brought a fair amount of heat last season, and her job in the art business brings in that Miami scene, which is a good thing. I'm glad to see her back.
As for the newbies, they sound pretty interesting .... to say the least. From Bravo:
Lisa Hochstein: A self-proclaimed “professional housewife,” Lisa Hochstein is married to Miami plastic surgeon Dr. Lenny Hochstein, who is known as the "Boob God" of Miami. At age 29, Lisa has made three appearances in Playboy magazine and excels at shopping, lounging and hanging out with her maid and best friend Daisy. (Maid and best friend? That I've got to see.)
Joanna Krupa: Born in Warsaw, Poland and raised in Chicago, Joanna Krupa is a model and actress who splits her time between Miami and Los Angeles. She has appeared on magazine covers including FHM, Shape and Playboy. Her television appearances include Las Vegas, CSI and she has been hosting and judging Poland's Next Top Model since 2010. She also competed on Dancing With the Stars in 2009 with one-time champion Derek Hough.
Ana Quincoces: Ana is a successful business woman who is a partner at her law firm, in addition to being a celebrity chef and cookbook author. Voted Miami's "Hottest Chef" by Eater Magazine in 2011, Ana says her greatest achievements in life are her two daughters, Kati, 20, and Beba, 19.
Karent Sierra: Dr. Karent Sierra is a celebrity dentist who firmly believes that creating “perfect” smiles can change lives. Always one to keep her Colombian heritage alive, Karent moved her retired parents into her mansion and has been dating her telenovela star boyfriend, Rodolfo Jiménez, for the past two and half years.
What a bunch, huh? Seriously, with a mix like that, how can things NOT be interesting. It's clearly a last-ditch effort by Bravo to save the Miami franchise, but it seems to be a damn good one. Personally, I can't wait!
Will you watch Real Housewives of Miami Season 2?
Image via Bravo