Hey readers, here's your daily shudder: Actor Fred Willard was arrested last night on suspicion for "lewd conduct" after he was allegedly spotted masturbating in a porn theater. And just in case you'd like a mental picture to go with that news, you may know Fred from movies like This Is Spinal Tap, Best in Show, The Anchorman, and the television show Modern Family.
During a routine police inspection of the Tiki Theater in Los Angeles (routine inspection, riiight), the 78-year-old was allegedly caught literally with his pants down, hand firmly grasping his gizzard-like genitals. And the rest is Hollywood humiliation history. But maybe he was just doing research for his next role? Apparently he's been cast in a film called The Yank.
Oh wait -- no, looks like that movie is not about a 78-year-old man who yanks himself in one of the last remaining porno theaters in America. It's about some American who travels to Ireland looking for love. If only Fred had gone looking for love in Ireland in real life instead of at the Tiki, he wouldn't be in this mess.
How old school is that, by the way? Masturbating in a porno theater. I think the last time a star was caught doing that was back in 1991 with Paul Reubens (A.K.A. Pee-wee Herman). I mean, doesn't Fred have Internet access? You can yank off to your heart's content to countless movies in the privacy of your own home now.
But maybe that's part of the thrill -- flirting with the possibility of getting caught!
Anyway, no doubt you're wondering what film classic Fred was spanking the monkey to. We don't know for certain, but that night the Tiki was showing Follow Me 2, Step Dad No. 2, and a porno spoof of the TV series The Client List. I guess he's okay with sequels. And now we know waaay more about Fred Willard than we ever wanted to know! Forget Spinal Tap, I need to get a lobotomy to erase the image of masturbating Fred Willard out of my mind. Oh Fred, you were not Best in Show in that theater last night. Wha' happened?!?
Are you surprised that Fred Willard of all people has been arrested for lewd conduct in a porn theater?
Image via ForYourConsideration/YouTube