Who would've guessed that a stint playing the wisecracking eldest son in a formulaic 80's sitcom would prepare Kirk Cameron for his future career as an official Champion of Marriage? No one, that's who. No one would've guessed such a thing because the only thing Kirk Cameron's early TV success prepared him for, apparently, was a future of promoting homophobia and ignorance in the name of "god." Sharin' the laughter and love, indeed!
Cameron's latest offense is a video he made for the "Marriage Anti-Defamation League" called "Kirk Cameron: Champion of Marriage." (You thought I was making that part up, huh?) And, like everything else Kirk Cameron does these days, it's bigoted, pointless, and dumb. But don't take my word for it.
Here it is, straight from the horse's ass mouth:
If we want a great future in this world, um, we have to take God at his word and and and God makes it really clear that society and civilization is really held together by the glue of families. I mean, this is where the next generation of human beings are incubated and nurtured and matured — in homes, in families. And so, we want that to be a place of health and happiness, a place of joy and forgiveness. It needs to be a home that is filled with faith and in order to have that home, marriages need to be strong, because that's ultimate gonna serve as the foundation of our family, right?
Right, Kirk! Because it's common knowledge that starting a "traditional" family pretty much guarantees a home filled with order and joy! That's why straight couples never get divorced. Hang on a sec ... what? How many marriages?! Oh, snap.
Kinda shoots that theory straight to hell, don't it? A place Cameron fully expects quite a lot of people to go:
Are you laughing? Trying not to vomit? Perhaps both. Or perhaps, like me, you're wondering exactly what sort of message Cameron's attempting to send with that scruffy starter beard. See how manly I am? Like a very, very heterosexual lumberjack. And a little bit like Jesus, too.
As long as we got each other ... we got the world spinnin' right in our hands ...
Wonder what Kirk Cameron's next career phase will look like? Oh cripes, no I don't -- he's totally going to run for office. Just remember ... I called it!
What do you think Kirk Cameron should do with the rest of his life? Besides quit the gay-bashing?
Image via NationForMarriage/YouTube