Tonight the ladies of The Real Housewives of Orange County took to their couches for part one of the reunion. On one couch were Alexis Bellino and Vicki Gunvalson; and on the other sat Heather Dubrow along with Gretchen Rossi and Tamra Barney playing twinsies in their red dresses and seriously scary pageant hair and makeup. Tamra may have been wearing one (or four) of Kim Zolciak's wigs, I can't be sure, but damn, her hair was huge.
Vicki certainly took some blows and even admitted she's been a hypocrite in some (though not all) matters, but it was Alexis who really took the heat tonight. And try as she and her big old lips might, she kept digging herself a deeper hole and proving the point the ladies tried to make in Costa Rica -- that she's fake, phony, and all around clueless.
First they questioned her bizarre relationship with hubby Jim who seems to control her every move. Even Andy Cohen told her it seems weird. She sputtered and spewed but couldn't come up with much more of a rebuttal than "that's just how our relationship works."
Heather was particularly pissed about Alexis dissing her acting career, saying she's no Angelina Jolie, and kept up her mantra from Costa Rica that Alexis is phony and needs to come down to earth if she wants people to like her. Alexis had no chance of holding her own against Heather, who is quick, sharp, and had her talking points down. Bam!
Heather then told her that while she's no Angelina Jolie (that really pissed her off), she does have plenty of experience in the biz, and that she's never seen anyone treat the crew as rudely as Alexis does. Apparently everyone from Nordstrom employees to the camera guys have stories about how rude and condescending Alexis is.
Alexis acted shocked and like they were all crazy, then Heather threw it down, "If everyone says you're dead, it’s time to lie down."
When Alexis tried to argue that it's Tamra who's disrespectful to others, Tamra lashed out with one of the best slams in Housewives history. "You're psychotic, Jesus Jugs." That (and the ensuing look on Andy's face) was even better than the hilarious bird attack. I thought "Jesus Barbie" was good, but this is so much better.
I did feel bad for Alexis during the Costa Rica massacre on her, but tonight, I just couldn't muster up an ounce of sympathy for her. She really does seem as pretentious and clueless as all the ladies keep telling her she is. Then she went and sealed the deal when she was talking about Jim's upcoming birthday party in Napa and the fact that Vicki was going to be attending.
"You're going?" Andy asked Vicki.
Alexis shot back, "AND she's flying on the private jet!"
Ohhhhhh, yes she did. "That private jet comment is kind of what they were talking about in Costa Rica," Andy told her. Exactly.
Part two is next Monday, and it looks like Brooks Ayers himself will be joining them. I'm guessing Jesus Jugs will be less of a target with him in the house.
Which couch were you rooting for tonight? Do you think Alexis deserved what she got?
Image via Bravo