MadonnaFeeling like a virgin has never felt so bizarre and boring! I'm sure people will say I'm just not artistic enough to understand Madonna's latest version of her hit 1984 song "Like a Virgin." The interminably slooooooooooow version of "Liiiiiike a Viiiiirrrrrgin." That, you know, this is ART! Whatever. Lots of art is like watching paint dry. During a concert in Berlin, Madonna sang the famously peppy tune as if she had molasses in her mouth. Then she breaks down in tears. Of boredom?

Yes, I know that artists often remix and rearrange their famous tunes -- probably to keep themselves from being bored silly with them. But just because it's done differently doesn't mean it's done successfully.

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Throughout this rendition, Madonna keeps her muscular back to the audience for half of it while warbling the song like a warped record on the wrong speed. I never thought Madonna could bore, but she's managed it here.

Just so you don't have to torture yourself like I did in order to see Madonna cry, it's at 6:46. I suspect she used the memory of her agonizing Tracy Anderson workouts to bring up the tears. Certainly, she looks great. I don't think you'll see another 53-year-old on the planet with abs like this.

But the song, ugh! The song. Madonna herself has admitted she's no Mariah Carey, and she proves that. But at least she's singing? So many artists these days auto-tune and lip dub that she gets points for trying. Still ... if you've got a case of insomnia, try watching this right before bed. I bet it works better than an Ambien washed down with warm milk.

What do you think of Madonna's performance?

 

Image and video via Marsteff74/YouTube