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Let’s Hope Snooki Treats Her Baby As Well As She Does Her Beer

by Adriana Velez on July 5, 2012 at 5:14 PM

snookie beer strollerPoor Snooki! All she wanted was to host a party for her fellow meatballs -- because the prenatal vitamins make her freakin' manic, okay? Yes, she's out-to-there preggers, but she can still make it a fun time for her friends, can't she? So she goes to the store, and she picks up some beer, and ...

Can you just hear how Snooki would say it? "Hey, check out my beer cart! Have you seen it? It's PERFECT for rolling home my our your beer! There's even a little belt you can strap over the case so nothing falls out. And a cute hood thingy on top to keep the beer from getting warm. Whoever invented this beer cart really knew what they were doing, right?!? What's that? This isn't a beer cart?"

No, Snooki. This isn't a beer cart. Think about it. It'll come to you.

Or maybe it won't. Will someone please fill her in? See, you're having this baby soon. And you'll need to move that baby around places, right? So right ... yes, you do have arms, Snooki. But eventually your arms get tired plus you've got that huge handbag and your jar of pickles. Plus we just don't trust you with a sling or a Baby Bjorn. Hello, Snooki + baby + sling = recipe for disaster! So that's why the stroller was invented.

You seatbelt the baby in there and you ... yes, Snooki, you do have to keep pushing it because it does not push itself. Also that tall chair thing in your kitchen? It's a high chair for the baby to sit in, not an extra-tall bottle opener. SIGH. Hoo boy, we are in for a big, big learning curve.

By the way, don't you love the way she stares wistfully into the distance like that? It's like she's thinking, "Alors, je me souviens de les days of my debauchery, et il sont mangifique!" Snooki, so full of ennui, so nostalgic for last season's Jersey Shore.

How long do you think before Snooki figures out what that stroller is really for?

 

Image via Pacific Coast News

Filed Under: jersey shore, television, reality tv

Comments

10
  • banan...
    --

    banana-bear

    July 5, 2012 at 5:31 PM

    Hahaha, you're nuts. You're really getting onto Snooki for something you MADE UP that she "said"?

    Can you just hear how Snooki would say it? "Hey, check out my beer cart! Have you seen it? It's PERFECT for rolling home my our your beer! There's even a little belt you can strap over the case so nothing falls out. And a cute hood thingy on top to keep the beer from getting warm. Whoever invented this beer cart really knew what they were doing, right?!? What's that? This isn't a beer cart?"

    No, Snooki. This isn't a beer cart. Think about it. It'll come to you.

    As long as she's not drinking the beer, I don't care what she does with it. And FYI - I have used my stroller for stuff OTHER THAN my kids. Yes, it does happen! When your kid doesn't want to sit in there, you have to set down whatever you are lugging in the stroller.


  • Jess1...
    --

    Jess10210

    July 5, 2012 at 5:40 PM
    Wow, this article officially made me hate this site and I'm not so sure I'll continue to be an avid reader. You writers on here are ignorant and need to lighten the hell up.
  • Lulu425
    --

    Lulu425

    July 5, 2012 at 6:05 PM

    So...you'd rather a pregnant woman lug her groceries home instead of bringing something that she could wheel them home in?

    I'm sorry, but that's the most asinine thing I've ever read on this site. Why is it so wrong for her to bring something to get her stuff home? She had a baby stroller and heavy groceries. Even if it weren't "beer" in the cart, 2-liters of soda or a case of water isn't light either, especially when you're pregnant and already carrying BAGS of groceries. It might not be classy but it's clever.


  • Todd...
    -- Facebook comment from

    Todd Vrancic

    July 5, 2012 at 6:15 PM

    She can't be the only mother-to-be to use a stroller to haul other things around in.  Maybe she was thinking something like, "I'll practice using this stroller on something that doesn't matter if it gets dropped so that when my child gets here I'll know all about how it works!"  See, I can put words into people's mouths, too!


  • Lulu425
    --

    Lulu425

    July 5, 2012 at 6:43 PM

    I bet they'd be singing a different tune if the stroller were full of organic, GMO-free fruits and veggies and books on breast-feeding. People are only "good" parents on this site if they subscribe to the all-natural, crunchy-granola, Moms-deserve-special-treatment-and-a-throne-to-breastfeed-on school of parenting. Because Snooki wanted to throw a party for her friends, she bought a case of shitty beer and used the only cart she had to get her groceries home in, she's going to be a shitty mother.

    Brilliant logic.


  • Anna...
    -- Facebook comment from

    Anna Potts

    July 5, 2012 at 8:12 PM

    i bet she wouldnt be fat if she carried her own shit home

     


  • MOMMY...
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    MOMMY2ACR

    July 6, 2012 at 12:08 AM
    How long before you realize how ignorant you sound? Probably a long while considering all of the extremely intelligent articles I've seen on here lately.
  • Lulu425
    --

    Lulu425

    July 6, 2012 at 8:30 AM

    @Anna - Considering you've linked to this site from your FACEBOOK, I look the liberty of perusing it. You're no great looker yourself, and she is also PREGNANT and carrying heavy shit is dangerous. Grow up, little girl.


  • Rebec...
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    Rebecca7708

    July 6, 2012 at 10:07 AM
    Could you be any more judgemental? Having a child changes people. I have no idea if she'll be a good mom, YOU certainly don't have a clue if she'll be good mother. She's about to have her first child, and that is a very scary thing. As moms, we should be encouraging her. We should be building her up, not trying to tear her down. I not saying she's going to be the best mother in the world but, until she proves otherwise, give her a chance! Stop writing such negative things. You're just making yourself look like a snarky ass.
  • Anony...
    --

    AnonyMOUSE715

    July 14, 2012 at 2:45 PM
    @Anna, Do I sense jealousy? She is PREGNANT, and I doubt most normal sized people even consider her close to fat! Chubby? Maybe, a little, Fat? No. Plus don't call people names when you look like an anorexic duck. Stop being a douche. Maybe she had to walk MILES? And she's like, oh, this stroller's just sitting here... ding ding ding idea...
    Sounds innovative to me
1-10 of 10 comments

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