Ah, the Kardashians. You either love 'em or you deliriously hate 'em -- and I actually don't know anyone who loves them. But someone must at least like them because they have about 50 shows and sell millions of dollars worth of clothes, perfumes, shoes, bedding, and god only knows whatever else. But if you've ever actually wondered to yourself, as I have, Why, God, whyyyyyy? then you'll want to hear what Sharon Osbourne says about the Kard-Klan on Kathy Griffin's new talk show. (Kathy Griffin's new talk show?! Lovin' it!)
Sharon sums up the Kardashian appeal in the perfect way -- with a lot of dirty, X-rated talk that'll have you laughing and shaking your head at the same time.
It all starts when Kathy says, "Sharon, your family actually has talent and entertains people." (Besides Ozzy, I'm not sure who in the Osbourne family Kathy is referring to, but anyway ... )
Sharon then goes into a hilarious and pornographic rant about how she only wishes she had been born a Kardashian. "I always wanted to be good-looking," she says. "But I had to plead for a boyfriend. Can I please give you a blow job?"
Jane looks slightly uncomfortable here, but Sharon is on a roll. "I would have been dishing it out too ... sucking and f*cking ... with all those lovely black men everywhere. It's every girl's dream. High heels and black men!"
Ha. Well, I don't know about that being every girl's dream, but at this point Jane (who was no prig when she was younger -- remember Barbarella?) pipes up: "They're not hurting anyone. They're smart."
And now here comes Kathy with the ultimate zinger: "Kris Jenner? Genius. Old school pimp. Top hat and fedora."
Whether or not you like the Kardashians, you have to admit that no one is forcing anyone to watch their shows or buy their junk. Perhaps instead of being angry at them for being famous for nothing, we should place the blame on the people (us) who made them famous for nothing.
Here's the conversation. Keep in mind it's not for work viewing -- unless you work at a brothel.
Image via Bravo