Four score and seven years ago, our fathers brought forth on this continent: A nation of vampire-crazed movie-goers. Which is why Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter will of course be a huge box office hit. I know, I know -- that was my first thought, too. Huh? This is gonna be a comedy, right? No? It's an action movie, are you kidding?!
I mean, Lincoln seemed like a pretty cool guy and all, but I have a hard time picturing Honest Abe taking down Eric Northman or the Cullen clan. Then I watched the trailer, and here's the thing: The Abraham Lincoln of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter looks a lot different than the dude you're picturing right now. (He also bears little to no resemblance to the actual Abraham Lincoln, but who cares? Clearly we're taking artistic liberties here.) Benjamin Walker is way hotter than the man on that $5 bill in your pocket.
And he even has experience playing a president (in the Broadway rock opera Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson).
As Lincoln/Walker says in the preview voice-over ...
I shall always think of myself first and foremost as a hunter.
After seeing this movie, will we first and foremost think of Abraham Lincoln taking down vampires with an axe? Hopefully not, but we just might:
Will you go see Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter?
Image via FoxMovies/YouTube