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'Jersey Shore' Deena Cortese's Mug Shot Is a Work of Art (PHOTO)

by Adriana Velez on June 16, 2012 at 12:34 PM

deena corteseGoing by her recently-released mug shot it looks like Deena Nicole Cortese has been learning the art of shame-shots from the masters. Deena was arrested last week for disorderly conduct -- all in a day's work for a Jersey Shore cast member. Hey, it's her job, okay? And her mug shot is all that a guidette's mug shot should be. Aspiring meatballs, take note.

As you can see, Deena's portrait is anything but disorderly. It's a well-crafted photo op for our times. Honestly, I almost suspect she wasn't even drunk when she had this picture taken. Or maybe she had a stylist with her. You think I'm crazy? Let's take a close look.

Deena's hair is all tidy. She's been crawling around on all fours, remember. That's gonna shake up your 'do. But someone must have handed the woman a comb at some point. The only mess I see are a couple of strategically out-of-place hairs.

She's got tears! So she looks contrite. Do you see them in the corners of her eyes? Or maybe they're just expertly applied glycerine drops. (If so, well done there makeup artist. You are a tear Zen master.) She's raising her eyebrows and has a spot-on pout of regret. "I've been bad and I'm sooo sorry!"

And can we talk about her waterproof mascara? No tear-smudged eye makeup for this guidette. Recall Snooki's smeary mug shot -- I bet she regrets her mascara choice. You've gotta plan ahead for these disorderly conduct stunts, ladies! Always wear waterproof mascara because you just never know when the opportunity will arise for filmed drunken buffoonery. It actually makes me wonder... Is Deena's mug shot almost too good?

What do you think of Deena's mug shot?

 

Image via Seaside Heights Police Department

Filed Under: jersey shore, reality tv, television

Comments

19
  • Stacey.
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    Stacey.

    June 16, 2012 at 12:56 PM

    You can polish a turd....


  • lilias
    -- Nonmember comment from

    lilias

    June 16, 2012 at 1:40 PM
    If it's okay for Ms. Velez to call someone a guidette, I wonder if it's okay to call her a Latina ethnic slur...hmmm...Yes, I know they say it on the show, but plenty of shows about Latin people use slurs as well....just wondering...
  • Mommy...
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    MommyMeggyG

    June 16, 2012 at 2:16 PM
    she doesn't look tidy to me...she looks like shit.
  • jazmynn
    -- Nonmember comment from

    jazmynn

    June 16, 2012 at 2:54 PM
    I would say she looks very drunk. Her eye brows are raised because she's trying to keep her eyes open.
  • littl...
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    littlesuzyfrog

    June 16, 2012 at 4:46 PM

    She looks like a hot mess.  Not very attractive at all.  Why would local police be able to go along with MTV's "stunts"?

    Don't disect Jersey shore.  It's fun show.  entertainment.  Don't ruin it for those who watch!


  • annis...
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    annismom10

    June 16, 2012 at 6:05 PM
    Am I the only one that thinks she looks 20 yrs older?!
  • Green...
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    GreenKnitMama

    June 16, 2012 at 7:24 PM
    I lol'ed at the word "buffoonery".
  • fluff...
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    fluffball8812

    June 16, 2012 at 7:34 PM

    @annismom10 no i was thinking the same thing she looks to be in her 40's not 20's and damn this chick looks like a hot stankin' mess


  • ThatT...
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    ThatTattooedMom

    June 16, 2012 at 8:54 PM
    You sound like an idiot in this article.
  • Erin180
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    Erin180

    June 16, 2012 at 10:32 PM
    Are you sure her eyebrows are raised? I can't tell since they appear to be drawn on her face...
1-10 of 19 comments

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