Going by her recently-released mug shot it looks like Deena Nicole Cortese has been learning the art of shame-shots from the masters. Deena was arrested last week for disorderly conduct -- all in a day's work for a Jersey Shore cast member. Hey, it's her job, okay? And her mug shot is all that a guidette's mug shot should be. Aspiring meatballs, take note.
As you can see, Deena's portrait is anything but disorderly. It's a well-crafted photo op for our times. Honestly, I almost suspect she wasn't even drunk when she had this picture taken. Or maybe she had a stylist with her. You think I'm crazy? Let's take a close look.
Deena's hair is all tidy. She's been crawling around on all fours, remember. That's gonna shake up your 'do. But someone must have handed the woman a comb at some point. The only mess I see are a couple of strategically out-of-place hairs.
She's got tears! So she looks contrite. Do you see them in the corners of her eyes? Or maybe they're just expertly applied glycerine drops. (If so, well done there makeup artist. You are a tear Zen master.) She's raising her eyebrows and has a spot-on pout of regret. "I've been bad and I'm sooo sorry!"
And can we talk about her waterproof mascara? No tear-smudged eye makeup for this guidette. Recall Snooki's smeary mug shot -- I bet she regrets her mascara choice. You've gotta plan ahead for these disorderly conduct stunts, ladies! Always wear waterproof mascara because you just never know when the opportunity will arise for filmed drunken buffoonery. It actually makes me wonder... Is Deena's mug shot almost too good?
What do you think of Deena's mug shot?
Image via Seaside Heights Police Department