Lindsay Lohan. Lindsay, Lindsay, Lindsay Freakin' Lohan, according to TMZ's law enforcement sources, LIED to the cops Friday by telling them she was a passenger in her Porsche when it crashed into an 18-wheeler, and that her assistant was the one driving. Reeeeaally. Cross her heart!
If this is true, um, color me shocked. Knock me over with a feather. Or something. Whoa. Who are the ad wizards who came up with that one? And stuff.
Between her past lies and rumored lies, why don't we just call her Lie-lo already?! Actually, that's exactly what Lohan should do: LIE LOW for a change!!! Because she clearly can't leave the house (or stay in the house, come to think of it) without getting into trouble, alleged and real.
And this time, if the cop source is right, it could be very, very big trouble. (What, you thought janitor duty in a morgue was bad?) Because it turns out that when you're on probation, LYING TO THE COPS is probably the last thing you want to consider doing.
See, Lindsay allegedly thought up her fake story immediately upon impact, because witnesses say they saw both Lohan and her assistant climbing out the passenger side door. According to TMZ, cops saw through Lohan's oh-so-clever ruse when said assistant told them her boss was the one driving (good for you, assistant!).
If proven, jail is a real possibility for Lohan, as her fib could count as a probation violation in her shoplifting case -- that means she could be prosecuted on 2 fronts. WHOOPS. Seriously, Lindsay Lohan: Low-profile doesn't begin to cover what your M.O. needs to be from now on. Think more along the lines of Witness Protection Program.
At the very least -- and this goes for Amanda Bynes, too -- Lindsay Lohan must never drive a car again. We know these girls can afford chauffeurs!! WTF?!
What would your advice to Lindsay Lohan be right now?