Some weird things have been happening over in Cannes. First, a male reporter tried to get frisky with Will Smith, who had to slap him down. Then Brad Pitt said that, well, he and Angelina might get married, someday, if, you know, everyone else can. But the weirdest, most oddtastic happenstance must be when Nicole Kidman squatted over Zac Efron and let a loose a yellow river of number one right on his handsome golden show -- I mean, golden boy face.
In a movie, that is. Kidman and Efron star in The Paperboy, the new flick from Lee Daniels, who directed Precious. It also stars Matthew McConaughey and John Cusack. And word has it that the movie is one of the most bizarro to be screened at Cannes.
Kidman gives Efron his 24-karat downpour at the beach. Mmm. Romantic eh? No, not really. Efron gets stung by a bunch of jellyfish in the water, and he rushes out, red blisters forming all over him. Kidman's character, who sounds like a cross between Tanning Mom and Blanche DuBois, runs over, announces, "If anyone's gonna pee on him, it's gonna be me!" and makes good on her promise.
Word has it the audience gets a real good close-up of this activity too, and that the stream is not a piddling dribble, but the stream of a woman who has possibly just drank a tank of Gatorade. Hey, I'm just reporting the facts here, people.
Kidman is known as an actress who really immerses herself in her roles, so I wonder what was going through her mind when she doused cutsie-pie Zac. It would have been difficult to do without thinking of something that she really wanted to badly piss on, like maybe Tom Cruise or Scientology. Yeah, I bet she thought about how Cruise filed for divorce just under their 10-year anniversary, saving himself a bunch of alimony payments. Whoo boy, that'd get me pissing a hot stream in someone's face in no time.
Anyway, if none of this has you itching to see the film, maybe the undressed state of Efron through most of the movie will have you lining up for your tickets.
Would you like to see The Paperboy? Would you ever give anyone a golden shower -- if jellyfish were involved? Or not?
Here's a clip from The Paperboy:
Image via Pacific Coast News