Tonight's double episodes of 16 & Pregnant featured Sabrina and Sarah. Sarah is young, but, like about 90 percent of the moms on this show, she neither has a dad herself nor has a stellar baby daddy. Lucky teen mom Sabrina has a little bit more of a hopeful situation.
Unlike Sabrina whose baby daddy gave her a lot of grief throughout the episode, but eventually came through, Sarah's baby daddy is as bad as they come. Even though she has been with Blake for five years, he can't be bothered to give money for the baby or any energy for his new baby girl.
"I wanted her to have what I didn't," Sarah cried. Sadly, she is hardly alone among teen moms. The sad truth of teen motherhood is that it's often a path girls end up walking by themselves.
Even Sabrina who has a much better boyfriend than Sarah came from a broken home where her only dream for her child is an intact family. It seems intact families really are in short supply, especially among people who have children so young.
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In Sabrina's case it was the mom who left, but Sarah's story is much, much more typical. MTV had a piece this week about how many baby daddies actually stay around and the truth is depressing.
Most teen moms don't end up living with the father of their child.
This may seem obvious, but the fact is, pregnancy is different for boys than it is for girls. When Sarah cried about how they both made her daughter, but only she cared for her and how it was both of their responsibilities, it made me feel for her. But it's also a bit of wishful thinking. He was never a good choice as her baby's father.
Besides, why did she choose to have a baby if she was going to hate it so much? Women do have choices even after conception. Men don't. And if they DO make a "choice" they are seen as deadbeats and jerks who need to "step up." In theory, that is nice. But in practice, is a 17-year-old high school drop-out REALLY the best choice for the father of your baby?
As much as I feel for these girls, it's also important that they understand how they made the choices that led to this. Taking responsibility for our choices is half the battle -- whatever that means.
Sarah and Sabrina didn't need to have babies. They made the choices to do so with or without the consent of the fathers.
Unfortunately, that is just the reality of this reality show.
Do you think these dads who leave are awful people?
Image via MTV
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Comments 40
Yes they are. Just like you say the girls need to responsible about the choices they make and the fact that the men are called deadbeats if they opt out, the men can be responsible too. They KNOW that they don't have a say once the baby is born, so maybe they should change the way they tend to try and coerce as many girls into sex as they can. Instead of it being all on the girls shoulders to always have to resist their own urges.
Men know they won't have a say after conception, so they should keep it in their pants. Women have to go through so much crap. So much more than the men do, but they are given so much more responsibility when the responsibility is on both sides.
Men know they won't have a say after conception, so they should keep it in their pants. Women have to go through so much crap. So much more than the men do, but they are given so much more responsibility when the responsibility is on both sides
Keep it in their pants?...Why if it has some place to go?...You say share the responsibilty but tell men to keep it in their pants but not girls keep her legs closed..Some shared responsibility!!...Why do women go thru crap?..Oh ya its because when a guy does want a say the woman beats him over the head with "my body my choice"..so dont whine bout having the burden when you insist upon it..
Amazing to me....so many excuses why it is ok for guys to run from responsibility. So if a girl doesn't believe in abortion or adoption (for religous reasons or whatever) she either has to choose to go against her beliefs to accomadate the guy or she should expect to be on her own cuz God forbid we teach our boys to be real men and take responsibility for their actions. If there was no such thing as abortion or adoption, and that "womans only" choice were gone....would it still be considered ok for these cowards to turn tail and run?