New Jennifer Aniston Love Life Rumor Is Sad, Sad, Sad

jennifer anistonThe public press seems to be obsessed with Jennifer Aniston's love life. I have yet to figure out why, but let's just go with it for a moment, shall we? The latest rumor comes from OK! magazine, and it's a doozy. Seriously, if there's even a grain of truth in this baby, it's just sad, sad, sad. It makes me wanna holla. Supposedly, Jen is sick of boyfriend Justin Theroux's "close relationship" with his ex, Heidi Bivens, and she's all stressed out about Brangelina's engagement, and so she wants to do what any woman in her right mind would do -- go back to her jerkaholic ex. Which in Jen's case would be John Mayer.

John Mayer?! Seriously, Jen? Let's recap. You and John dated for awhile and then broke up, and then he blabbed all over the media about it. You got mad. But then you took him back. You even took him to the Oscars, and showed him off right in front of Brad and Angie. And then you broke up again. And then he blabbed again!


Yeah, this time Mr. Blabbermouth Mayer told Playboy all about you and his sex life with Jessica Simpson. He called her "sexual napalm" and said she was like "crack cocaine" to him. Seriously, Jen, how did that feel to have your ex talk about his sex life with another ex, and not even call YOU "sexual napalm"? I'd be livid. Why am I not "sexual napalm," eh?

But apparently all is forgiven because John may have penned his song "Shallow Shadow Days" about Jen. So she texted him to tell him that the lyrics were "beautiful." And they've been texting ever since. Supposedly.

A "friend" told the mag:

When Jen heard he’d written a song about their breakup, she immediately downloaded it and listened -- and the tears were rolling down her face. Jen has a lot of wonderful memories from her days with John, and they all came flooding back.

Hey, friend! Maybe these were tears of relief -- relief that Mayer is long, long gone. But, anyway, we all know that girl who keeps going back to the jerkaholic ex-boyfriend. Things get a little lonely and then the guy promises to change and blah blah blah. So, if this happens, it wouldn't be the first time a woman has made a romantic move that goes against all common sense. Love is blind. In this case, it's blind, deaf, dumb, and can barely stand.

A "rep close to Jen" (whatever that means) says the rumor is "laughable." But I'm not laughing. I'm crying, y'all. Crying for the future of Jen Aniston. Crying for the world. Stop the madness!

Have you ever gone back to a guy you shouldn't have?


Image via FashionbyHe/ Flickr


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