Vicki Gunvalson is a walking, talking contradiction, which has never been more evident than it was tonight on The Real Housewives of Orange County. From her deeming big boobies "inappropriate" while rocking an FF-sized bra to preaching love and light while being the dark storm cloud of selfishness and doom, it's amazing that she's raised a daughter as seemingly grounded as Briana Wolfsmith.
After last week's bomb, tonight she was resigned to accept Briana's new marriage via a secret elopement in Las Vegas ... or at least to pretend to accept it. She still wasn't happy, and whined that it was "rude, disrespectful, and wrong" of Briana not to consider the fact that she was robbing HER of attending a bridal shower, picking out wedding invites, and the like. "Hello, it’s not just about them," Vicki said. But isn't it supposed to be?
At least she was smart enough to realize that if she didn't at least make an attempt to support her daughter, she would lose her. So she decided to announce Briana's new marriage at a party, which sounds nice on the surface. Unfortunately, it was anything but nice.
First of all, her intent wasn't to celebrate her daughter's news in any way; it was to save face. She said the whole marriage was embarrassing enough, but the worst thing that could happen would be if people got the news from someone other than her ... or Briana. The horror!
More from The Stir: Vicki Can’t Have It Both Ways
Second, it wasn't even a party FOR Briana; she just worked it into one of her business deals, then tacked Briana onto the whole thing. Then she re-purposed the whole event once again by using it as an occasion to force her new boyfriend, Brooks Ayers, on her kids and make them meet him for the first time. Talk about "rude, disrespectful, and wrong."
And let's talk about Brooks ... how creepy is that guy with his cheesy lines and bizarre ramblings about Vicki's son, Ryan, and Tamra Barney's son, Michael? Of Ryan, he said, "He's the bomb dot com." And after spending about 93 seconds with Michael, he told Vicki, “I love your son as he was my own.” Seriously. Tamara summed it up pretty well when she said, "WHAT? Who says that? You just met them. It’s weird."
Weird indeed, which is what Briana thinks of him too as no one knows much about him at all besides the fact that Vicki buys him clothes and lets him use her car. Briana suspects he may be an "opportunist," and I think Vicki's lucky if that's all he is.
When Vicki forced Briana into a room with Brooks and expected her to immediately embrace him because Vicki was now pretending to embrace Briana's new husband, Ryan (there's always a catch with Vicki), Briana just wouldn't do it. "It's different," she said when Brooks and Vicki were trying to paint their relationships as being similar. Oh so very different.
I can't help but wonder just how bad Vicki's struggling to find her poker face once again this week, as reports have it that Briana is now four months pregnant ... and right before the big wedding they've planning. Just a hunch, but ... I'm guessing Vicki isn't woo hoo-ing the timing of that little bomb either.
Were you appalled by the way Vicki Gunvalson announced Briana's marriage? Do you think Brooks is shady?
Image via Bravo