OMG, he did it. Ellis finally put peanuts in Rebecca's smoothie! Or at least someone put peanuts in Rebecca's smoothie, and we all know who was in charge of making them.
But let's back up a bit because we are officially in previews! And the show is officially screwed! Because the audience HATES the ending. It's this grim, Debbie-downer of a scene where Marilyn offs herself. The scene ends and... silence. Followed by a quiet smattering of clapping like the audience is kind of hoping that's not really it. Except that is the finale. And it sucks. Whose fault is that? The star, Rebecca? The writer, Julia? Marilyn, for killing herself and giving everyone only one obvious ending for every bio pic and play forever after? HOW WILL THEY FIX THIS?
So that's crisis #1 -- but this is Smash, so of course there are more. Crisis #2 is the awful Karen-Dev-Ivy lust triangle: Karen and Dev appear to break up, Ivy and Dev meet and sleep together, Karen decides to take Dev back, Karen introduces Dev to her BFF, Ivy. AWWWKWARD! Worse, Dev thinks he may have left the engagement ring in Ivy's room. Because that's what always happens when you sleep with another woman after your girlfriend rejects your marriage proposal. Didn't you know that, everyone in Smash?
And how perfect that Karen all of a sudden does want to marry Dev after all. Yup, this engagement is off to a terrific start!
Oh well, Ivy's love life sucks, too. Derek is defending his affair with Rebecca as some sort of saintly way of supporting his star. And that's about the biggest, stinkiest, most outrageous piece of bullshit I have ever heard come out of a character's mouth ever in the history of television. (But maybe I just don't watch enough TV?)
Thank goodness everyone can just go and blow off steam with some singing and clapping at Sam's church. Once again, Sam is an angel of light, the only sane person for miles around, kind and wise and impossible. Is he too perfect?
But then the best part: Rebecca quits the show. Oh happy day! Like Baroness Elsa Schraeder handing Captain von Trapp to Maria in The Sound of Music, she puts her gloves back on and exits stage right with her dignity intact. Oh -- and she knew that smoothie had peanuts. She could taste it. But she could also taste the shame and defeat of a mediocre performance so that made the peanuts go down easier.
Now it's back to a contest between Ivy and the Cartwright Girl! One more episode left -- the season finale. We find out who wins. I'm betting they cast both, one as Norma Jean and the other as Marilyn. But we'll have to wait another week to see if I'm right!
By the way -- didn't you love Eileen's song? It was like: Hush now, children, the grow-ups are talking.
Who do you think will take over as Marilyn?
Image via NBC