Um, I think maybe Kate Upton has some serious daddy issues. Or, to be more precise, "Cat Daddy" issues. As in the Cat Daddy "dance," if that's what you want to call the lazy pseudo-striptease Upton performed in a microscopic bikini for dirty old man "noted fashion photographer" Terry Richardson.
There's just no other explanation. Why the hell else would a girl who made the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition humiliate herself on YouTube for a seasoned perv like Richardson if she didn't have a deep-seated and desperate yearning for the approval of older men?
I'd say she was roofied, but she does manage to kind of stay on her feet for most of the video, so unfortunately she probably can't use that particular excuse.
There's only one excuse 19-year-old Upton really can fall back on (besides the poor decision-making skills that come with deep emotional scars), and it just happens to be an excuse the 46-year-old Richardson hasn't been able to use for decades ...
YOUTH! I'm talking about youth and youthful inexperience and naiveté and just the plain old dumbass-osity that comes with being a 19-year-old girl (who, god help her, happens to be really hot/really insecure).
It was one thing when Upton did her little Dougie ass-shake at that Clippers game -- not only did she have clothes on, she seemed to be having a genuine silly girl moment. But this piece of borderline pedophilia? Ewww.
Like I said, daddy issues. Daddy issues as obvious as the boobs in that bikini. And that just makes Terry Richardson all the more despicable. He's like a vulture: As soon as he smells severe emotional damage on a girl, he swoops in to pick her bones clean (remember the Lindsay Lohan thing?).
BLECH. Two things: Kate Upton should be in therapy. And Terry Richardson should be in jail.
UPDATE: Since this post was published, YouTube has banned the clip for "breaching its nudity policy." (Told you it was over-the-top!)
UPDATE (AGAIN): Since the last update, YouTube "reinstated the clip." (Probably because Vimeo was getting all their traffic!)
Does this Kate Upton "Cat Daddy" video make you want to throw up?
Image via TerryRichardsonTV/YouTube