A grown man named John (played by Mark Wahlberg) lives with his foul-mouthed teddy bear, a toy that was wished into existence when John was a child. "Ted" is a life-sized, walking, talking, CGI creation (voiced by Seth MacFarlane) whose slackster personality eventually gets in the way of John's relationship with his girlfriend (Mila Kunis). Will John be able to fully commit to the woman he loves, and let go of his "bearrier" to entering adulthood?
Okay, so that's pretty much the worst movie synopsis you've ever heard of, right? I mean, on a scale from Mildly Buzzed to Permanent Coma/No Brain Activity, how drunk do you think you'd have to be to enjoy a movie about a guy and his computer-animated teddy bear?
Honestly, the whole thing sounds terrible. Which is why I can't explain why the trailer for Ted made me laugh so hard I spilled my coffee this morning.
Ted is the feature film directing debut from Family Guy creator Seth MacFarlane, and like I said, it's about a guy and his teddy bear. Starring Mark Wahlberg—yes, that Mark Wahlberg—and Mila Kunis. Ted's voice will be familiar to anyone who's heard Peter Griffin or Stewie Griffin on Family Guy, because MacFarlane uses similar vocal modifications for all three characters. (Interestingly enough, MacFarlane uses his regular speaking voice for Brian Griffin.)
The R-rated comedy combines live action and animation, and MacFarlane recently spoke at SXSW about how pleased he is with the results:
One of the great things when we finally got [the effects done], was that Mark was so good and so convincing. When we finally put the bear in, it felt so organic and so real. It would sink or swim on whether you believe these two guys were together.
I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, but I think he actually pulled it off. Here's the utterly crass, completely ridiculous, and 100 percent R-rated trailer for Ted:
So ... was it just me, or was that actually pretty damn funny? I'm particularly impressed with Wahlberg's ability to rapid-fire out that list of white trash names like a freaking cattle auctioneer. Apparently in order to memorize that scene he ended up writing out each name by hand “something like 1,000 times.”
I have no doubt Ted will be teeming with the lowest of lowbrow humor while dragging along its painfully lame girlfriend plot like a reeking albatross corpse, but I'm equally convinced it's going to make me laugh like hell. Plus, you've got to hand it to MacFarlane—we all love to complain about how formulaic Hollywood has become, but when's the last time you saw a movie about a cursing teddy bear? Well played, sir.
What do you think of the trailer for Ted? Does it look like your type of humor?
Image via YouTube